Author: Emily Rose Massey

Emily Rose began writing short stories and poetry as a little girl, entered the blogging world in her early 20’s, and recently began the revision process of her first book, Yielded in His Hands (eLectio Publishing). She enjoys being a stay-at-home momma while freelance writing for various websites and publications. You can find her work on iBelieve.com and Crosswalk.com where she is a staff writer. Emily and her husband Paul also blog at www.wewouldratherhavejesus.com where they minister to those who have been deceived by false teaching by sharing truth and exposing the error found WOF/NAR/Hyper-Charismatic movements.

Fixing Our Gaze Upon Christ

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Discipleship1 Comment on Fixing Our Gaze Upon Christ

At the beginning of a new year, so many of us often set lofty goals that we want to pursue. Some common ones are: lose weight, exercise more, read a certain number of books, get out of debt, eat healthier, travel more, learn a new skill or hobby, or drink more water. 

All those goals or resolutions are quite admirable, and many can be achieved and maintained if one sets their mind to work hard and stay committed and focused to keep chasing after the lifestyle shift and goal ahead of them. Unfortunately, after the excitement of the fresh new year wains, many people get discouraged and distracted and soon enough, they quickly throw in the towel and stop running towards their goal. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 46% of people who made New Year’s resolutions actually stayed committed to the endeavor of pursuing to completion their resolution or change of lifestyle.That means over half of the people who set a goal for the new year will fail! The study also involved people who did not make a New Year’s resolution but set out to achieve a simple goal- only 4% of those people were successful at achieving their goals. The question that needs to be raised is: what got in the way of the pursuit? 

Considering our Christian journey is far more important than mere earthly plans, I cannot help but apply this situation to spiritual pursuits, our spiritual race. How often do we set our hearts at running the race set before us-towards pursuing more of Christ and the knowledge of Him- and become distracted, discouraged, and entangled in worldly temptations that pull us away from Him? I know for me, the distractions around me sometimes feel inescapable and overwhelming. But we have inspiration…we have a model to look to- Christ!

In chapter 12 of the book of Hebrews we see an encouragement regarding our Christian race that we need to fix our gaze upon Christ because He is our example:

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” .

(Hebrews 12:1-2, NKJV)

Jesus is not only our example on this Christian pilgrimage, but He is also the One who endows us with the power and grace to keep running our race and to finish well. We are able to keep pressing forward, casting off distractions, discouragements, and disappointment because He is the One who is faithful to complete the work that He began in us. This doesn’t mean that we are free of responsibility on our race. We often determine the pace in which we are running. What has slowed you down on your Christian journey? Are you looking backwards? Have you been caught in the trap of sin that has stolen your zeal for Jesus? These are all questions we need to ask ourselves. Hebrews 12:1-2 commands us to lay aside every weight and snare and to fix our eyes on Jesus, knowing that He loved us so much that He endured the cross to purchase our freedom from sin. That should be enough motivation for us to keep running after Him and glorify Him with our life. Worldly temptations, distractions, and discouragements will inevitably come, but we do not have to be ensnared by them and give up on pursuing God. Let us make a commitment this new year to lay it all aside to run after the Lord and the things of His Kingdom like never before. 

Father God, 

I have such a desire to pursue You and grow in the knowledge of You, but I feel surrounded by so many distractions and temptations that keep me from being faithful on my Christian journey. I repent for allowing myself to be ensnared by sin that does not satisfy. You are the only One who can truly satisfy my soul. Help me to cast off all things that would entangle me and keep me from running the race set before me with fervor. Please give me wisdom on how I can limit my distractions and set boundaries in my life so that I can prioritize spiritual things. I find my hope in You and trust Your joy will keep my heart from growing discouraged. I fix my gaze upon You, Jesus. Thank You for Your faithfulness, for Your nearness, and for Your Holy Spirit that empowers me to say no to distraction and stay focused on Kingdom matters. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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Finding Joy in Difficult Seasons

by Emily Rose MasseyAnxiety / Devotionals / Discipleship / Prayer / Sanctification

For many years, I allowed my emotions to control the way I walked through life and made decisions. If something felt right or good, I did it. If something didn’t feel right or good, I avoided it. Needless to say, I surrounded myself with people and situations that satisfied me and filled my feel-good tank. When storms came my way, I allowed my emotions to toss me to and fro and cause so much emotional chaos that I couldn’t even think straight. I would be crushed under the weight of these emotions and be so consumed by my circumstances that it would cause me to fall victim to depression constantly and make very poor, sinful decisions that I would later regret. Thankfully, once I became born-again and began to study the scriptures, the Holy Spirit taught me that damaging cycle is not how God wants His children to live. 

When trials are big and God is small in your mind, misery and instability rule. When trials are small and God is big, near, and sovereign, joy reigns in your heart. We must link our thinking and feelings to the Lord and remind our hearts of His truth. We should never allow our feelings to dictate how we respond in hard times or allow our emotions to hold us back from drawing near to God’s truth where true joy can be found.

While suffering in prison, Paul encourages the Philippians to find their joy in the Lord:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4, NASB).

Where does rejoicing come from? This ability, despite our suffering and trials, comes from the Lord who is the fountainhead of our joy. We can always rejoice because Christ never changes. You cannot always rejoice in your circumstances, but you can always rejoice in the Lord- He is constant. What are some ways we can rejoice in the Lord? We can rejoice in the Lord because of our salvation. We can rejoice that God is sovereign over all things in our life. We can rejoice that He is sanctifying us and transforming our life. We can rejoice because we can be satisfied with the riches and blessings that are available to us in Christ. 

We can find spiritual fortitude by focusing on Christ who brings us strength and joy no matter what we are facing. We can fix our eyes on Christ by tuning out the things of the world- lesser things- that keep us from thirsting for the things of God that bring a joy that the world cannot offer us. Troubles and anxieties are minimized when we lift our gaze upon the Lord and meditate on the scriptures where we learn the truths of who God is, which renews our mind and strengthens our faith in Him. The next time you find yourself in a different and trying season, ask the Holy Spirit to help you focus on Jesus. He is our helper in time of need, and He will fill your heart with unspeakable joy in Christ that will well up in you like a fountain!

Heavenly Father,

I do not want to be overtaken by my emotions when I am suffering or experiencing a difficult trial. Not that feelings are evil or sinful, as you have made us to experience them, but you do not want our emotions to dictate our responses and decisions. Circumstances change, but You never do. Thank You that You are constant and steadfast. We can rest in Your faithfulness, knowing that You have a plan in this storm, even if it is to use it to make me look more like You. You are near to us in the midst of our great suffering, even if we cannot always sense it. Help me to find joy in the Lord and to rejoice in You even when I cannot always rejoice in my circumstances. Help me to thirst for the things of God and turn from worldly thinking. Thank You, Jesus, for bringing me near to the Father by the shedding of Your precious blood upon the cross. I find my joy in You alone. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Asking the Holy Spirit to Teach Us

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Discernment / Sanctification1 Comment on Asking the Holy Spirit to Teach Us

In high school, I was gifted a Bible when I became a member of my new church. I was so excited to start reading it and learn more about God, but as time went on, I became more and more intimated by its pages. Where do I begin? Do I start in Genesis and just read through it beginning to end? Do I need to spend time memorizing what I’m reading? What does this word mean?

These thoughts circled my teenage mind, and I was so hesitant to even dive in for fear that I wouldn’t understand what I was reading. It didn’t take long for schoolwork and all of the extracurricular activities I was involved in to crowd out any down time to make space to read my Bible. Soon enough, that Bible would find a permanent home on my bookshelf, left untouched. I hate to admit it, but the intimidation and distractions would follow me all through college as well. When I was stressed out, I would glance at my neglected Bible and randomly open it and try to soak up some hope for my weary soul.

Although I heard the gospel as a teen, and was a professing Christian for six years, it wasn’t until after I graduated college that God granted me genuine repentance from my sin and rebellion and gave me the faith to fully surrender my life to Christ and trust Him completely. One Sunday, I stepped foot in a church service for the first time in a few years, and I believe I was born again that day, as the reality of offending a Holy God and my desperate need to turn to Jesus, take up my cross, and follow Him overwhelmed me for the first time in my life. After that moment, my whole world changed, and I suddenly had a deep desire to read my Bible and obey God. I look back and see the difference between my high school and college days was that I was trying to understand what I was reading without the help of the Holy Spirit. Once I became born again at the age of twenty-two, I was given the gift of the Holy Spirit- Jesus describes Him as a Comforter as well as a Helper and Teacher in John 14:

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you” (John 14:26, ESV).

As born-again believers, when we open the pages of scripture, we are not left on our own to understand what we are reading. We have a Helper and a great Teacher, the Holy Spirit, to guide us in our pursuit of growing in the knowledge of the Lord. He illuminates the truth to us over time and will bring what we have read to our remembrance. This is why it is so important to consistently be reading our Bibles, so that we can store what we are studying in our hearts. The Bible is a gift from God to help us in our daily lives- to be able to learn of God’s ways and learn who God truly is so that we can grow closer to Him and worship Him rightly. 

I have to admit that I sometimes still struggle with intimidation and distraction when it comes to reading my Bible, but after walking with the Lord for over ten years now, I know that I am not left alone on this journey. I have a Helper who guides me into all truth and supernaturally helps me understand the words I am reading- words that are spirit and life (John 6:63). He is always with me and I can always ask Him for help.

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Not only does He convict me of my sin when I daily fall short, He is my ever-present Help in time of need who also guides me into all truth. I admit that I need help understanding your Holy written Word. Holy Spirit, will you give me a hunger to daily read the Bible? May You supernaturally illuminate what I am reading and give me the ability to comprehend what I am studying, not just for head knowledge, but to help me know You in a deeper way so that I give You the worship You deserve. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Re-adjusting Our Focus

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Marriage / Sanctification

I saw a sign the other day that said: “I saw it. I liked it. I bought it. Now hide it!”

You know, it is often a joke among women that we hide our Amazon Prime packages or shopping bags from our husbands like it is a secret behavior that all women do that is normal. But sister, this is so wrong. And quite frankly, it is a sin. How can we be in unity with our spouse if we are literally hiding something from them? Why do we make jokes about that? We need to call this what it is, and admit we have a problem. This behavior is materialistic and can often be rooted in covetousness, and it is not a joking matter to God. This saying above isn’t cute and should reveal to us the matter of our heart. It seems where our eyes wander, our heart follows and can become fixated upon whatever has our gaze. We need to readjust our focus and if we are not able to overcome the temptation, we need the Lord’s help, especially if we are continually tempted by material possessions and give into hiding our addiction to “more stuff.” 


Do you wrestle with impulsively buying things you don’t need? I do, big time.


But I have been convicted of this sin and do not want to grieve God nor my husband with this widely accepted behavior in our society. There is a verse in Psalms that is a cry to the Lord for helping turn our focus from temporal things that don’t matter:

“Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways”

(Psalm 119:37, ESV).

We find life in God’s ways, not in the world’s ways of accumulation of more material possessions. Our possessions should be a blessing to us and others and not turn into idolatry, leading our hearts away from God and the things of God. Although we live here on earth, as believers, we are citizens of heaven, and we should lift our gaze to heavenly things more than earthly things. In a culture that jokes about shopaholics hiding their problem of impulsive buying, let us be different by pointing others to Christ and His ways where true abundant life is found.

Let’s hold each other accountable, friends. The temptation is strong, but God can help us overcome. He always provides a way out. Let us ask the Lord to help us keep our eyes on Him and that escape and ask the Him for strength when temptation comes. May we also ask Him to turn our eyes to what is eternal and more precious than worthless material possessions where moth and rust eat at them. 

Father, my eyes have wandered onto obsessing over material possessions. When I scroll social media, I feel the pressure to own what others own that they are often trying to market to me. I ask for Your help to guard my heart from materialism and covetousness. I also repent for perhaps giving into the temptation of hiding this struggle that seemingly feels too difficult to overcome. I know that You always provide a way of escaping every temptation. It is not a sin to be tempted, but it is a sin to act upon that temptation. I long to walk in Your ways because I want to obey You, and I know Your ways provide life abundantly. Thank You for Your grace and mercy that is new every morning that gives me a new focus upon You and Your Kingdom. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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Emily & Doreen Virtue | Christian Life Coaching and Mastermind Groups Deception

by Emily Rose MasseyMedia

When did “Christian coaching and mastermind“ become such a big lucrative business? Pastor Keith Craft charges $84,000 a year to join his mastermind group. Nicole Crank, wife of Pastor David Crank, charges $17,000 a year for coaching and mastermind. Real Talk Kim also has tiers of elite coaching and mastermind services. Many of these services twist scripture to try to justify the practices, and even use new age practices such as trying to create your dreams through affirmations and declarations. The more money that you spend with these coaches, the more you can get close to the coach. Is this partiality? In this video, join Emily and Doreen as they discuss the dark side of Christian life coaching services.

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Imitators of Christ

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Motherhood

Change the baby’s diaper, take the dog outside, feed everyone breakfast (including said dog), start a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, fill the dishwasher with more dishes, fold and put away the laundry, clean counters, vacuum, sweep, mop, snack-time, school-time, nap-time, lunch-time, snack-time, dinner-time, snack-time, bed-time. Do it again tomorrow. 

As a mom and wife, I am given countless opportunities to set aside my wants and give my love, time, and attention to the needs of my husband and children. Pouring yourself out like that on a daily basis can sometimes be physically exhausting; I find myself praying for supernatural strength often! Yet, at the end of the day, even though I am tempted to wonder where my “me time is,” my heart is always full. 

This is when I begin to see more clearly what the Apostle Paul meant when he said:

“I affirm, brethren, by the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.”

1 Corithians 15:31, NASB

The Biblical principle of dying to yourself has always been true, but I didn’t always live it or even understand it. Becoming a stay-at-home mom has challenged me in more ways than I can count in the area of putting others before myself, and I am always learning and finding that it is truly is more blessed to give than to receive. 

As Jesus’ disciples, we are called to follow Him. That was Paul’s mission in life – to imitate Christ. And it is what he and the rest of the apostles literally gave their lives to preach to the world through their words and actions. We may not ever get the honor to literally die for Jesus Christ because of our faith in Him, but by God’s grace, we can imitate His selflessness every day.

To be able to imitate Christ, we must look to Jesus as our example. Even though Jesus was God in the flesh, He still leaned upon God the Father for everything He said and did while He walked this earth. Jesus would rise early to pray and seek God for His will for the day.

In addition to seeking God in prayer, Jesus obediently submitted Himself to the will of the Father, even unto death. Each day, we are faced with the temptation to satisfy our flesh and go outside the boundaries of God’s perfect will. We discover what that will is when we read the Bible and study it for ourselves to learn God’s ways. We are not perfect, but thankfully Jesus was, and because of His sacrifice on the cross, we have been given the precious gift of the Holy Spirit as born-again believers.

Ultimately, Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve others (Mark 10:45). Jesus ministered to thousands upon thousands of people during His time here on earth. John 22 tells us that if all the things Jesus did were all written down, the entire world could not contain the books that would be written!

Dying daily definitely isn’t easy, but it is worth it because Jesus promises us that whoever loses his life will find it and find it abundance (Matthew 10:39/ John 10:10)!

But remember, we cannot die daily in our own strength, friends. The Holy Spirit is who empowers us to choose God’s way through the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). With each passing day, by God’s grace, we mature and cultivate a life worth dying for, a life found in Christ alone!

Who is God asking you to serve?

What selfish desires do you need to lay aside to put someone else’s life before your own?

Are you too busy or too distracted to serve others?

Take some time and write down those who may come to mind who you can minister to, even if it is just a simple phone call to encourage someone. May God empower us to die daily and choose others above ourselves.

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Comfort Found in Christ

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals

Suffering is a reality for everyone on this earth, including believers. To deny that, is to deny reality of the fact that we live in a fallen world and Christians are not exempt from the results of it. Remember, the Apostles suffered greatly and many of them died horrendous deaths as martyrs. But it was all for God’s glory and a part of His sovereign plan for their lives.

We must remember that Christ is with us in the mist of our trial to bring us through it with perseverance. Not all people have this access to Christ’s comforts, only those who have repented of their sins and trusted in Christ’s righteousness alone (Ephesians 1:6). When our heart is agitated, this is the “pillow treatment” in which we can rest our heart and receive God’s overwhelming love (Psalm 34:8). In addition to having the nearness of Christ when we are suffering, as believers, we have also been given the gift of the local church. The local church should be carriers of God’s love- extending counsel, fellowship, humility, and service towards one another. 

The Apostle Paul encourages the Philippian church to be in unity and of one mind, sharing the love of Christ, which brings comfort. This is a wonderful reminder to us today as well:

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind”

(Philippians 2:1-2, ESV)

The graces found in Christ fuels our humility that generates unity.

Intersecting Faith and Life:

God will use all things to conform us to the image of Christ and often in the life of the believer that includes pain and suffering, but we do not have to suffer alone. We can find comfort in the riches of Christ, and He often uses the family of God to bring His love and peace into our situations. Have trials in your life embittered you and caused you build up walls around your heart to keep you from being vulnerable and transparent with God and with others? We need to be honest about our insecurities and pain so that we can receive Christ’s comfort and encouragement. Through this vulnerability with others, God gives us wisdom to show us who to specifically speak to about our hurts, frustrations, confusion, and deep sorrow. Let us tear down the walls of privacy and pride to receive the Lord’s tender mercies and rich grace. Who do you need to share God’s affection and sympathy with? The greatest way to do this is sharing the truth that Christ died so that others may live- the Gospel. We must remind our hearts and share with others that our faith in Him means that because of the cross, we are forgiven and now we can have the hope that He never leaves our side and walks with us through the valley and the mountain top experiences, and we have the ultimate hope that there is a glorious eternal life that awaits us in Christ Jesus.

Oh, what comfort we can find in Christ!

Further Reading:

  • 2 Corinthians 5:14-15
  • Hebrews 10:24-25
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Lovesick Scribe Podcast | “Sovereign Childbirth- A Biblical Response to the Teaching of Supernatural Childbirth” (Ep. 171)

by Emily Rose MasseyMedia / Motherhood / Podcast

The belief in supernatural or pain free childbirth has been around for years. The claims surrounding this teaching tell women that Jesus Christ paid the price on the price for us to walk in victory, and one of the things promised to us is that we can have a pain free childbirth without complications and trauma. Words are viewed as a powerful thing, and faith is exercised in conception, pregnancy, and delivery, as you claim what rightfully belongs to you. Where did this teaching originate? Join me along with two other sisters in Christ, Dawn Hill and Becca Trostrud, as we discuss this doctrine, and we provide a response to this teaching by focusing on God’s sovereignty in childbirth.

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Heavenly Perspective Shift

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Discipleship / Motherhood / Prayer / Sanctification

As a homeschool mom of three (plus a newborn), it so easy for me to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. Sometimes my days feel like never-ending task lists, keeping up with housework, schoolwork, changing diapers, feeding the baby and the rest of my hungry boys, and ministry life- both online and serving at my local church. If I am not careful, I can find myself growing distracted from spiritual matters and consumed and overwhelmed with my responsibilities.

Although I know the Lord has given me the gift of my role as a wife and mother, that should never become my sole identity. My eyes weren’t made to become fixated with the temporal things of this earth, but I need to remember to lift my gaze to my King when I feel overwhelmed and drained. The more we behold our King, the more we become like Him and long to reflect Him to a lost and dying world. The world needs the hope of Christ, and we are to be carriers of that message that sets the captives free and gives them life eternal in Christ alone. We are to be eagerly fixated on the return of King Jesus, but all too often, temporal, worldly desires and responsibilities have our gaze. 

The Apostle Paul exhorts the church at Colossae to fix their mind on heavenly and eternal things:

“Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God”

(Colossians 3:2-3, NKJV)

We cannot allow the temptations of this world and our weak flesh to entangle us into bondage Christ gave His life to set us free from. We must pray and ask God to strengthen us so that we do not give into these temptations and worldly desires. He always provides a way of escape from these temptations, and we must trust that He will never lead us astray. His ways are so much better than ours! As believers, because of our faith in Jesus Christ, our names are written in the Lamb’s book of life – the paperwork needed for entrance into our awaited home in heaven. This heavenly citizenship means we are to be set apart from the world as believers. If Christ has saved you, you have died to your old self, and now He has given you the privilege of knowing Him and anticipating His full fellowship.

While here on earth, we can enjoy a small taste of glory as we become conformed to the image of Christ by God’s grace and the power of the Spirit. The Christian life is the process of growing in Christ-likeness- transformed through sanctification. The path of transformation leads to an eternity of transformation. Our bodies will be transformed from our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory. As believers, we joyfully submit to Christ’s Lordship in all things in our life. In the end, Jesus Christ reconciles all things to their right place; He sets all things right by the authority and might of His power. When the world gets dark, let’s remember to not grow weary or discouraged, but to fix our gaze on our heavenly home that awaits us! When we are tempted to get weighed down by the things of the earth, we can ask God to help us have a perspective change that shifts our eyes up. May the Lord fill our heart with the hope of heaven!

Let’s pray:

Heavenly Father,

There is a reason that You don’t immediately take us to heaven when we become born again; You have a purpose for us to fulfill here on earth- to bring You glory and share the gospel with those who do not know You. Instead of becoming consumed with the things of this world, You want us to remember where our true citizenship resides- heaven. Help me to shift my perspective when I become overwhelmed with my responsibilities here or when I am tempted to become entangled with worldly pursuits. As the world grows dark around us, help me be a light for Christ and a messenger of hope to the lost. Thank You for the grace to become heavenly minded. In Jesus’ name, amen.  

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Special Delivery: God’s Great Grace in the Birth of My Fourth Son- Part 3

by Emily Rose MasseyMotherhood2 Comments on Special Delivery: God’s Great Grace in the Birth of My Fourth Son- Part 3

Click here to read Part 1

Click here to read Part 2

“This, then, is of faith, that everything, the very least, or what seems to us great, every change of the seasons, everything that touches us in mind, body, or estate, whether brought about through this outward senseless nature, or by the will of man, good or bad, is overruled to each of us by the all-holy and all-loving will of God. Whatever befalls us, however it befalls us, we must receive as the will of God. If it befalls us through man’s negligence, or ill-will, or anger, still it is, in even the least circumstance, to us the will of God. For if the least thing could happen to us without God’s permission, it would be something out of God’s control. God’s providence or His love would not be what they are. Almighty God Himself would not be the same God; not the God whom we believe, adore, and love.”

E. B. Pusey

I am so thankful that I have a solid foundational understanding of the sovereignty of God. Nothing slips through His hands. He providentially orchestrates all things that touch our life.

Knowing this, helped me handle a difficult phone call the afternoon of January 9th, 2024, the day before I turned 39 weeks. The fetal and maternal health specialist called me to talk to me about my fasting glucose numbers that hadn’t budged. I asked her what the concern was since my blood pressure was fine and his growth was fine. With no sugar coating whatsoever, she very bluntly responded, “Risk of stillbirth.”

Although I was a bit taken aback by her answer, I believed that most likely was not the case for me since my other numbers were not in question, yet, I chose to rest in God’s sovereignty regarding this phone call and this information presented to me. I asked her about the foley balloon method and she said that was definitely an option for me.

“How would you feel about scheduling your induction for tomorrow?”

Truth be told, friends, I wanted off this rollercoaster and knew that none of this was coincidence. This was all coming to me from God’s hand, even through a doctor’s lack of tact. Even if she was possibly pressuring me with that scary outcome, God was allowing it and giving us an opportunity to trust Him as He gave us wisdom to make the right decisions.

I agreed to proceed with the induction and received a request through the health portal for an appointment at the hospital for 5:30 AM the next day. I called the sweet sister in Christ who was on call to watch the boys and asked if she would be able to come over to hang with the boys while Paul and I were at the hospital. She said she would be at our house by 5 AM and was so excited for us to be so close to meeting baby boy #4! Her joy for us was quite calming for me as I embraced this new unknown experience that was ahead of me.

Considering childcare for the other boys was another thing weighing on Paul and I’s mind, we were so thankful that our boys would be cared for and loved on while we were briefly away. This sweet sister played with them and baked homemade banana bread with them. Even 1,000 miles away from family, God has provided a family for us in so many ways through our amazing church. I let a lot of my friends know about the situation and Paul informed our elders- we had a lot of people praying for us.

Grace.

I had trouble sleeping that night from nerves (and some contractions too) and was woken up by our three year old who wanted to sleep next to me as he had always done pretty much his whole life. He had no idea that his little world was about to change. He was about to become a big brother!

I didn’t even need my alarm to go off at 4:30 AM because my eyes were already wide open as I rolled out of bed to get ready to head to the hospital. After checking into the hospital, we got settled into my birthing suite that overlooked Tampa Bay. As the sun rose, the view got even sweeter. I doubt many people get to labor while looking at water and palm trees out the window. 😊

Grace.

I relayed the birth plan to my nurse who was a sweet homeschooling mama. The midwife on call was also just as sweet…and spunky. She was my hype girl for sure! Our game plan was for me to labor with the foley balloon for about five hours, check my dilation to see how my body was responding to that method and then break my water, knowing that he would most likely come quickly after that since that happened with the other boys. By God’s grace, within 30 minutes of the balloon being inserted, my contractions picked up and labor began to progress wonderfully. I was even able to walk around and labor over a birthing ball for the first time. I implemented breathing exercises this time around and a rocking motion that truly helped me stay focused as I calmly took each contraction as they came. My focal point being Tampa Bay, of course.

One thing that was truly different with this labor was my great need to cry. The oxytocin was truly making me weep; It was beautifully overwhelming in the best way. Within 2.5 hours, the balloon helped me dilate to 4 cm, and he was low enough for the midwife to break my water. That of course was when labor got intense FAST. I continued the swaying motion standing up, but this time, I needed to hold onto Paul’s hand and lean into his shoulder as I had done with my previous labors. He is such an amazing birthing partner; we truly make a great team.

Grace.

Within 30 minutes, I began to vocalize through the contractions so I knew I was approaching transition. I made my way to the bed, got on my knees, and faced the wall with my arms around Paul’s shoulders. As contractions were getting stronger and stronger, and I got the urge to push, I grabbed the bars of the bed and used it to brace myself as I pushed. Within 3 or 4 pushes, he was born!

Grace.

The midwife slipped Jonathan through my legs so I could see him…oh, my goodness…so much hair!!

Our Florida boy was born at 1:20 PM- something I had silently asked the Lord…that he would be born during the day, which is why the view out of the window was so beautiful with that Florida sun shining off the water.

“I did it, I did it!”

Little man’s blood sugar was a little low right after he was born but after sucking on some sugar mixture and eating (he latched perfectly immediately!), his numbers were thankfully normal. He would have to have his glucose checked 4 more times while we were at the hospital, but the numbers were within range each time. Thank You, Lord! We only had to stay at the hospital for 24 hours…another silent prayer answered!

Grace.

So here we are, now seven weeks postpartum, with baby boy laying on my lap, as I wrap up what will most likely be my last birth story. Although it is not exactly how I wanted his birth to go, I trust that God’s hand was upon the whole journey and that His grace carried me the whole way as I know it will continue to do until I take my last breath. I will forever live to tell Jonathan (and my other boys) of this great grace that is ever-sufficient.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV

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