Valentine’s Day Flashback

As we quickly approach Valentine’s Day, buying our sweetheart chocolate and roses, or quite possibly those cute, silky boxers with hearts on them (that I’m sure men just LOVE, right ladies?)…

…I am reminded of a home-made gift that I received for Valentine’s Day exactly 20 years ago—a short film featuring me in a fantasy love-story.

For a few years into my marriage, it was hiding itself in the midst of other movies that I enjoyed watching cuddled up on the couch with my husband.

No, this wasn’t footage of me and my husband…

…or my high school sweetheart…

…or even my boyfriend from college.

This Valentine’s Day gift captured moments of my secret adventures with a man I was in love with when I was 19…

…who was married.

It was the ultimate fantasy love-story—we were involved in a musical production together. And even though he was almost ten years older than me, he played my boyfriend in the show. After he confided in me about his failing marriage, the feelings that I was only supposed to be portraying on stage, followed me home one night. I began to wonder if I was falling in love with this man. And once he said those three words all insecure girls like me want to hear, I was definitely in over my head.

I was desperately longing to find love and be loved, so much so, I found myself trapped in a lie that God just wanted me to be happy, even if it meant becoming “the other woman.” And I was a Christian!

That longing to be loved still burns within me, but is now satisfied by the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ and my God-honoring husband.

Yet, I know that I am not the only woman out there experiencing that deep desire to be pursued, cherished, and intimately loved.

On the surface, it may look like most women in the world are just after a steamy sex life, but under the sheets, you will find a broken soul longing for true love—a love that can only come from God Almighty, Love Himself.

God knows how to satisfy these deep longings to be loved and treasured because He created us.

Without the understanding of how much my Heavenly Father loved me, and how He manifests that love through the sanctity of marriage, I tried to fulfill those longings through the entanglement of sexual pleasure, running away from my reality that I was empty. Even after my relationship ended with the married man, my own lustful desires dragged me further into the pit of sexual sin, bound heavily in chains. It wasn’t just casual sex (there is no such thing), my friends, it was a war within my soul that caused severe anxiety and depression, alcohol abuse, and suicidal thoughts.

When I became a Christian, I truly struggled with having a Biblical view of sex- knowing that it was designed to be enjoyed within the context of marriage.

Yet, sex has always been a risqué topic in the church, often making us uncomfortable, but this isn’t the time for us to remain quiet because it makes us uncomfortable! The devil surely isn’t uncomfortable or silent in his tactics to steal the purity of our daughters and wives!

We cannot afford to keep our mouths shut about this issue any longer. The total health of women: spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical, depends on it.

We need to start conversation about it. We need to offer support for our women who are secretly suffering and hiding behind these kinds of “romance” fillers to help satisfy their souls, and explain to them where sex and love fits in God’s divine plans for their lives.

Sexual sin and pornography are not just problems men face. This is a moral cry regarding the sexuality of women all over the world.

Our wives, sisters, daughters, nieces, and grand-daughters are searching for their worth. They need to know that they are cherished—not just by us but by God! We must lift up the cross, the greatest Gift from the Father, and the Blood of Jesus, letting them know of the Man who laid down His life for them, showing the greatest love ever known.

This Valentine’s Day, and every day, let us remember that Love.

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Where are my Titus 2 ladies at?

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled”

(Titus 2:3-5, ESV).

I am the only born-again Christian in my immediate family. Although we did have a Bible in our home, it was more of a centerpiece on the coffee table; It was occasionally wiped down when dust collected on it; it wasn’t ever opened or read, obviously. I don’t have memories of my family praying before meals or hearing about Jesus from any of my relatives or grandparents. Sadly, I didn’t have a “praying grandma” who lead me in the faith. 

So, when I became a follower of Christ at age 22, the road was definitely a lonely one for me. I felt very misunderstood and different from the rest of my family members for a very long time, and still do to be quite frank. I’m so thankful for the Christians friends the Lord placed in my life who encouraged me and prayed for me on my journey with Christ, but I have always longed for someone older in the faith to mentor me and this still seems to be the case in my life, sadly.

I read Titus 2 with a longing in my heart, wondering if I could ever have a mentor relationship with a woman like this:

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled”

(Titus 2:3-5, ESV).

You can hit Google, YouTube, and social media for older women in the faith, of course, but I want to move beyond online connections and would love a one-on-one personal mentor that I can enjoy conversation about Jesus and the Bible over coffee. It seems that our generation is settling for online connections (which are wonderful too) but there is more to be found in doing life together. Where are the Titus 2 women, I find myself asking.

Since it is something that should be found in the context of the local church, and we are once again new members at our current church because we recently moved to a new state. Instead of being tempted to complain about this lack in my life, I am reminded that I must go to God in prayer, especially when it seems so out of reach for me to find a mentor who can come alongside of me and teach me to love my husband and children and love Jesus and His Word even more. 

We are living in a very isolated time all over the world. So many of us are lonely and looking for connection. We were created to be in relationship with one another, especially in the Body of Christ. The “metaverse” will never replace the real-life universe where we are there for one another to bear one another’s burdens, pray for each other, and spur each other on in the faith, face-to-face.

The call for women in Titus 2 is one that is important within the church and one that our society desperately needs. We need godly women strong in the faith to raise strong, godly children with strong, godly marriages. Families like this could change the world for Christ! 

Do you find yourself longing for a mentor who has walked with Jesus for a long time, maybe decades longer than yourself? Does it seem impossible to meet someone like this? Well, let me remind you that nothing is impossible for God! The Father knows the desires of our heart, especially desires that line up with His Word, and He wants those desires to become reality for you. Instead of growing discouraged and tempted to complain, let us run to the Father and pray that we would see this relationship of a mentor fulfilled in our life, not just for us but to ultimately, give Him glory and see the Gospel advanced.

Father God,

I am finding myself lonely on my walk with Christ. I look for others to encourage, evangelize, and disciple who may be younger in the faith, but I long for a mentor who can come alongside me and teach me more about You and how to be a godly woman, one who loves her husband and children so deeply. It may feel impossible to find, but I trust that nothing is impossible for You, God. Thank You for hearing my prayer and I believe I will see this desire of my heart fulfilled because it is something that you call women to do for each other. I pray You would raise up women who reflect those found in Titus 2 all for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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