The other day, a post from a mommy blog with the title “We’re Allowed to Be Angry” caught my eye in my Facebook feed. The headline caption read: “Maybe it’s not ‘mom rage.’ Maybe it’s that mom is doing everything for everybody else and is having her needs met less than everyone else in the house.” Essentially, the short blog was highlighting the fact that the overwhelming demands and expectations put on mothers are deserving of anger. Understandably, this article was not written by a believer, so the advice given to justify moms being angry when life gets challenging would not be Biblical. Although it was a bit disheartening to read the comments on this post, I am thankful that I do not have to run to mommy blogs for insight on how to navigate the challenging seasons of motherhood especially when it comes to my emotions that can lead me to sin. Instead of justifying my anger and outbursts in the trenches as a mom, I can run to the scriptures to find direction and wisdom.
In the book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul makes an interesting and helpful correlation between anger and the schemes of the enemy:
“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.”
(Ephesians 4:26-27, NASB)
The Lord created us with a ray of emotions and understands that it is completely normal to experience overwhelming feelings when we are stressed, disappointed, offended, rejected, and hurt- especially anger. Here, in Ephesians chapter four, we read that being angry is going to happen, but that is not the issue. The issue arises when we do not control our emotions and allow our anger to consume us so much that it causes us to react to that anger in sinful behavior or actions. For me, when I struggle with this sinful behavior the most, I can often allow myself to outburst by yelling at my children, slamming doors behind me, or saying hurtful words towards the ones that I deeply love. When I allow myself to lose control in those situations, the enemy is given an opportunity to cause destruction in both my own life and others’. If anger is not controlled, it can lead to more destructive behavior. Jesus even tells us in the sermon on the mount that anger towards a brother is equivalent to murder (Matthew 5). God is after our heart, and He does not want anger to remain in it and breed more sin.
Intersecting Faith and Life:
Obviously, I see how my flesh and the enemy can lure me into those kinds of sinful behaviors when my emotions get the best of me, but I don’t have to take the bait. Anger will inevitably come, but I can choose to process those emotions with the Lord and with those whom I am feeling angry towards. It is not healthy to go to sleep angry either, so it is important to settle those frustrations quickly so that reconciliation and peace can be found. When anger leads us to act out sinfully, we are given an opportunity to run to the throne of grace and receive Christ’s mercy when we repent for our sin. God is faithful to forgive us and strengthen us with His grace to overcome every temptation to lash out in anger. May the Lord help us renew our mind with His Word and give us the patience we need to endure frustrations with self-control. Anger will present itself in our heart, but we do not have to be trapped by it. The Lord will provide a way of escape, so let us look to Him for help to handle those overwhelming feelings.
Further Reading:
- James 1:19-21
- Ecclesiastes 7:9
- Proverbs 15:18