Tag: love

Valentine’s Day Flashback

by Emily Rose MasseyDiscipleship / Sexual Brokenness / Testimony

As we quickly approach Valentine’s Day, buying our sweetheart chocolate and roses, or quite possibly those cute, silky boxers with hearts on them (that I’m sure men just LOVE, right ladies?)…

…I am reminded of a home-made gift that I received for Valentine’s Day exactly 20 years ago—a short film featuring me in a fantasy love-story.

For a few years into my marriage, it was hiding itself in the midst of other movies that I enjoyed watching cuddled up on the couch with my husband.

No, this wasn’t footage of me and my husband…

…or my high school sweetheart…

…or even my boyfriend from college.

This Valentine’s Day gift captured moments of my secret adventures with a man I was in love with when I was 19…

…who was married.

It was the ultimate fantasy love-story—we were involved in a musical production together. And even though he was almost ten years older than me, he played my boyfriend in the show. After he confided in me about his failing marriage, the feelings that I was only supposed to be portraying on stage, followed me home one night. I began to wonder if I was falling in love with this man. And once he said those three words all insecure girls like me want to hear, I was definitely in over my head.

I was desperately longing to find love and be loved, so much so, I found myself trapped in a lie that God just wanted me to be happy, even if it meant becoming “the other woman.” And I was a Christian!

That longing to be loved still burns within me, but is now satisfied by the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ and my God-honoring husband.

Yet, I know that I am not the only woman out there experiencing that deep desire to be pursued, cherished, and intimately loved.

On the surface, it may look like most women in the world are just after a steamy sex life, but under the sheets, you will find a broken soul longing for true love—a love that can only come from God Almighty, Love Himself.

God knows how to satisfy these deep longings to be loved and treasured because He created us.

Without the understanding of how much my Heavenly Father loved me, and how He manifests that love through the sanctity of marriage, I tried to fulfill those longings through the entanglement of sexual pleasure, running away from my reality that I was empty. Even after my relationship ended with the married man, my own lustful desires dragged me further into the pit of sexual sin, bound heavily in chains. It wasn’t just casual sex (there is no such thing), my friends, it was a war within my soul that caused severe anxiety and depression, alcohol abuse, and suicidal thoughts.

When I became a Christian, I truly struggled with having a Biblical view of sex- knowing that it was designed to be enjoyed within the context of marriage.

Yet, sex has always been a risqué topic in the church, often making us uncomfortable, but this isn’t the time for us to remain quiet because it makes us uncomfortable! The devil surely isn’t uncomfortable or silent in his tactics to steal the purity of our daughters and wives!

We cannot afford to keep our mouths shut about this issue any longer. The total health of women: spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical, depends on it.

We need to start conversation about it. We need to offer support for our women who are secretly suffering and hiding behind these kinds of “romance” fillers to help satisfy their souls, and explain to them where sex and love fits in God’s divine plans for their lives.

Sexual sin and pornography are not just problems men face. This is a moral cry regarding the sexuality of women all over the world.

Our wives, sisters, daughters, nieces, and grand-daughters are searching for their worth. They need to know that they are cherished—not just by us but by God! We must lift up the cross, the greatest Gift from the Father, and the Blood of Jesus, letting them know of the Man who laid down His life for them, showing the greatest love ever known.

This Valentine’s Day, and every day, let us remember that Love.

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Knit Together: Speaking the Truth in Love

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Discipleship

In a recent research survey, 61% of people ages 18-25 reported miserable loneliness in our post-pandemic world and felt as if no one cared for them. No matter if you are single or married, experiencing isolation and loneliness can often lead to depression that can be crippling. People in the world are looking to belong. In Christ, as His followers, we have the answer.

The Church is a family, and we should seek out those who are isolated because they may be truly suffering. We enlarge our heart and become vulnerable with each other, by God’s grace, to enjoy meaningful and fruitful friendships that are soul-quality and one-souled, knit closely together with one another. Do you struggle with being vulnerable with others? What is causing you to hold back with being transparent and open with someone? Perhaps you have been hurt in previous relationships- rejection or betrayal may have wounded your soul and you are scared to become vulnerable with others again. We must trust that Christ will heal that hurt and will bring you into healthy Christian friendships for His glory. 

To be able to build intimate Christian friendship, we must also learn how to go beyond surface level conversations and move into heart-to-heart type of conversations. It’s easy in our society to be self-isolated and guarded in the name of privacy. Sadly, consumerism in our culture has infiltrated our relationships too. If friendships don’t enhance value in our life, we see them as disposable and easily replaceable, or even ditch friendships altogether. As members of the Body of Christ and brothers and sisters in the family of God, He has called us to be joined together as Ephesians 4 tells us: 

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (15-16, ESV).

Intersecting Faith and Life: 

To be able to speak the truth in love to one another, we must cultivate trust in our friendships. True Christian friendships are rare and costly because they require a lot of work, selfless commitment, and intentional engagement. Our self-centered heart or past hurt can get in the way and can lead us to isolate and choose selfishness over investing in meaningful Christian friendships. We must press past these temptations to build up walls around our heart or seek only things that satisfy self. The foundation of good friendships must begin with Christ (vertical then horizontal) to be able to sustain loyal, sacrificial, intentional, caring, and committed relationships. We must also remember that friendship with the things of this world is to make one an enemy of God (James 4:4) and will keep you from growing in love- love for Christ and love for others. What worldly pursuits have become a stumbling block to your friendship with Jesus that may be keeping you from getting to know Him in a deeper way? Remember, the nearness of God is our good (Psalm 73:28). The more we grow in our relationship with Christ, the more we will grow in our friendships as well. The Lord wants us to flourish in both areas. To flourish in Christ means we must become fluent in friendship. Jesus is the ultimate friend and wants to have a friendship with us so that we can participate with His mission, which is discipleship. The consistent pattern in our life should be to draw near to Him to then draw near to others and grow in Christ together- for our good and for His glory.

Further Reading:

  • Colossians 3:12-13
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:11
  • Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
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Empowered to Love Your Spouse

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Marriage1 Comment on Empowered to Love Your Spouse

December 5, 2009. It may have only been a little over thirteen years ago that my husband and I said our “I do’s,” but that special day sure does feel like a lifetime ago. Time tends to do that to us, doesn’t it?

Perhaps, this feeling isn’t the fact that physical time has gone by and that we have grown another year older. Perhaps, it is because with time comes change – for better and for worse. I know my husband and I have each changed since December 5, 2009, especially after we both became parents! Oh my, did we experience changes in our marriage once that happened! Often, in marriage, the changes may happen slowly or small enough that we don’t notice it right away, but when it comes to the person we have vowed to spend the rest of our life with, it is difficult to ignore when you finally realize that time has shaped you each in unique ways and it is starting to cause a lot of friction between the two of you.

Problems and arguments arise and increase. We may get on each other’s nerves a lot. Instead of talking it out calmly and sharing our hearts with one another, we build walls around our heart to keep the other person out. We may want to spend time with someone who understands us better. Sometimes all of this friction and struggle may cause us to want to throw in the towel. When things get hard in relationships, calling it quits seems like the easy thing to do, right? After all, this isn’t the person you first married. So many people who are wrestling with this, feel stuck, and don’t know what to do or where to turn. The D-word may even have come up a time or two.

But I can say emphatically, divorce is not the answer! You can experience personal changes in your lives individually and still stand the test of time and grow stronger together! This might sound impossible. And honestly, in our own broken and weak human strength, it is. But take heart! There is hope for your marriage because Matthew 19:26 tells us that with God, all things are possible! Even if you were not a Christian when you got married but found Christ later on (or if you stumbled upon this website and are not a Christian at all), know that you cannot love your spouse and stay committed to them without God’s help. Without God’s love shed abroad in our hearts by the gift of the Holy Spirit, we are incapable of loving another person unconditionally. We are able to love our spouse because God first loved us.

“We love because He first loved us” ( 1 John 4:19, NIV).

There is no step-by-step guide to have a successful and thriving marriage, but there are things we can implement to help strengthen it. Thankfully, when we make a commitment to put God first within the marriage, He gives us grace and wisdom for the journey together. The Holy Spirit truly does empower us to show the love of God even to the most unlovable.

Intersecting Faith and Life:

One way we can be empowered to love our spouse is to study the Word of God regularly both individually and together. The Bible is full of truths about God, who is Love Himself (1 John 4:8). The more we dive into His Word, our selfish minds are renewed to think like He does and love like He does, extending the same grace and mercy we have received from Him to others. The Word transforms us from the inside out, all for the better, and we begin to see the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23) develop and mature in our life, which we need to fully love others.  In addition to studying scripture together, you can pray together and pray for each other. God is the only One who can change someone’s heart and life. Don’t just pray for God to change your spouse but pray and ask God to help you love your spouse in the midst of the difficulties and obstacles. Your circumstances may not change right away, but you will be surprised at how God changes you in the middle of those circumstances and you begin to see your spouse how God sees them – with eyes of mercy and grace. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize to your spouse. Because we have been forgiven through the Cross of Jesus Christ, we must forgive others. We have received such great mercy, therefore, we must extend that same mercy to our spouse, even if they have wronged us or offended us. 

Obviously, there are so many other ways we can ensure our marriage has a solid foundation that not even time can shake it or destroy it. Just like how our individual lives must be founded upon the Rock, Christ Jesus, most importantly, our marriages must have that same foundation. Jesus is our example of how to love one another, selflessly and unconditionally. May the Lord continue to empower us with His grace to do just that. 

Further Reading:

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Matthew 19:4–6

Ephesians 5:22–27

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Submission Isn’t a 4-Letter Word

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Marriage

My husband Paul and I have been married for almost thirteen years; From day one, we have viewed our roles in the home as 51/49, meaning we realize that God created men to lead the family, so he has an extra measure of responsibility to protect, provide, and guide the family. And hear me clearly, we are equal in value as people, but never equal in role. The husband being the head of the home doesn’t mean the wife doesn’t get a say in what happens in the family or the wife is disconnected from family matters, it means at the end of the day, the husband is held responsible for the decisions made. It is God’s order for the family.  Chaos is inevitable if you step out of the bounds of God’s ordained order. You can experience God’s peace by walking out the role He has ordered for you specifically and uniquely, dear sister.

One way a wife can help “lighten the load” for her husband is to fulfill her role in the home with joy and excellence, as well as pray for and encourage her husband in his God-ordained role (despite his short-comings and flaws).

I have several friends who have a husband who is not the spiritual leader of their home, and it makes submission extremely difficult for them when they feel their husband is not “carrying his weight” in this area of the family. God is very much aware of this dynamic, which is most likely why He inspired Peter to pen these encouraging words for wives:

“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and [a]respectful behavior”

(1 Peter 3:1-2, NASB).

Regardless if the husband is a believer or not, men have a weightier responsibility that women were not designed to carry- a burden of accountability before the Lord as the leader of the home and family. As wives, we must view this design as the gift it truly is to your womanhood. God simply did not create men and women “equal” in this way. Our roles are different, so it is wise to try not to strap on an unnecessary burden. Eventually, it will harm you, your marriage, and your family. We cannot walk in submission and service in our home without the help of the Holy Spirit, so it is important for us to remember to ask God for His grace, especially when our husbands may not be as involved in our home and children’s lives as we would like. The Lord has given you your husband and your marriage covenant is important to God. He wants to work and change you and your husband’s hearts to reflect His ways as He cultivates the fruit of the Spirit in your lives. Even though nagging may seem like the easy thing to do when we are annoyed or frustrated, let us gain wisdom from the scriptures and win our husbands over with our respect and love, asking the Lord to humble us daily and give us a heart to serve our husbands and our family.

Father God, 

Thank You for the gift of marriage. It is not always easy,but please help me see it as the gift it truly is. Help me to remember to hold my tongue when I am frustrated at my husband and learn to walk in respectful manner towards him. I ask that You would bless my husband as he seeks to support and provide for our family. Move in his heart to hunger after Your Word so that He looks to You most of all as he learns how to lead our family. If he does not know You or love You like I know You and love You, I ask that You would convict his heart to see his great need of the Savior and draw him to the cross. Thank You for my husband and thank You for the order You have placed in the family. I pray Your peace would be our foundation. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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The Father’s Embrace

by Emily Rose MasseyDevotionals / Rejection / Sexual Brokenness4 Comments on The Father’s Embrace

For the majority of my life, I struggled to feel truly loved by my dad, who was an on-again, off-again recovering alcoholic. Because of that missing piece, I longed to find love and constantly sought out approval and attention from boys, giving myself away piece by piece- first becoming entangled by pornography, then slowly moving toward sexual encounters beginning at the tender age of twelve and going on until I was about 22 years old- a whole decade of my life.

I knew John 3:16 by heart, but I didn’t fully understand it. I couldn’t shake the religious upbringing that taught me only about a vengeful, angry God who would smite me down if I were not perfect. I still felt like I had to work for forgiveness and love. That performance-driven mentality affected all areas of my life. No matter how hard I tried to be perfect, I never felt good enough.

I reached a point where I stopped trying and just lived. In college, I made plans to run away to Los Angeles. I would be an actress and prove to the world my worth, talent, beauty and charm. But, one Sunday morning, only a couple months after I graduated, my eyes were truly opened to my selfish and sinful existence.

I hadn’t been to church in years, but one morning I went with my mom and sister. During the worship service, I began to experience this deep conviction that I was living a reckless and selfish life; I had been running away from God. Immediately, I knew I needed to repent start running toward Him, back into the Father’s arms. In that moment, I realized where I truly belonged. Right there, with hands lifted in worship, and tears streaming down my face, I repented of my pride and rebellion; I told God that I didn’t want to live this life on my own anymore, and that I wanted to surrender to His plan. 

But only a few short months after this change began in my heart, I received some traumatic news- someone murdered my father outside of a strip club. His lifestyle landed him in the wrong crowd, and it tragically cost him his life. Although I lost my earthy father, I discovered a Father’s love that is stronger than anything I’ve ever known.

Since that time in my life, God has completely healed me, transformed me, and shown me His overwhelming love as my Father, who will never leave me. The most powerful revelation I received once I started seeking God as found in the first chapter of the book of John.

“But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be[h] children of God, to those who believe in His name,13 who were born, not of blood,[i] or of the will of the flesh, or of the will of man,[j]but of God” (John 1:12-13, HCSB).

What a powerful reminder for us! Jesus died so that we could have unending fellowship with the Father. When you fully embrace Jesus, the Father embraces you. Jesus gave us the privilege of being called God’s child, and He made a way for us to have access to the Father. No what matter what you have done, you can never outrun His love. You are never too far gone for His reach. He will rescue you and use you for His purpose in the earth. Receive Jesus and the work of the cross and learn to stand in the most important position you will ever hold in this life- a child of God!

Father, help me learn to be satisfied with Your love above all else. You are the only One can satisfy my longing to find love and acceptance. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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