Praising God in the Disappointments

I was involved in a movement some years ago that would constantly boast in having “aggressive expectations” and equating that way of thinking to “having faith.” Aside from the vast misunderstanding of what faith in God means (to trust in Him no matter what happens) one of the problems with that ideology is that many times our expectations in this life are left unfulfilled or unmet completely. People fail us. Plans fall through. They went with a different candidate for the job. We experience month after month of negative pregnancy tests. 

Since God’s plans and ways are so much greater than our own, often our expectations do not look anything like what God may have for our life. When our expectations that we have held onto so aggressively fall flat, it is very easy for us to slip into disappointment. Disappointment can then often lead to complaining and discontentment, something we are commanded by scripture to guard our hearts from. We very quickly forget the truth of God’s sovereignty over all things when we believe we know what is best for our life. 

When God allows for disappointment to happen in our life, we must remember that all things that come are way are meant to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit in us and conform us into the image of Christ, whether we were expecting them to happen or not. When we are disappointed, we are given an appointment to praise God no matter what. 

The Psalmist David proclaims in Psalm 34:

“I will bless the Lord at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth (Psalm 34:1, NKJV).

When our expectations are met, we should stop and praise God and bless His holy name; When our expectation are not met, we should still stop and praise God and bless His holy name. He is worthy of our praise and our thanksgiving. In His sovereign providence, we can trust that He works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes (Romans 8:28). Nothing with God is coincidence or happenstance; He is sovereign and in control of every detail in our life, guiding our every step. His work in our lives is providential through and through, and He causes all things to work out for our good and for His glory. Next time your expectations are not met, remember it is an opportunity to make an appointment for praising God for His goodness. We can trust that His plans for our life are so much better!

Father God,

I am struggling with disappointment. Help me to guard my heart from discouragement, discontentment, and complaining. Teach me how to find ways to praise You when my expectations are not met. I know I need to trust in Your sovereignty and lean upon Your ways over my own. Your grace is sufficient for me, and I thank You for always guiding me into truth and convicting my heart when I fall into the sin grumbling and complaining, thinking that I know better than You. My lips long to praise Your great name. Thank You for Your love for me and for changing my heart to reflect Yours. I pray You would use these unmet expectations to transform me and strengthen my faith in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Valentine’s Day Flashback

As we quickly approach Valentine’s Day, buying our sweetheart chocolate and roses, or quite possibly those cute, silky boxers with hearts on them (that I’m sure men just LOVE, right ladies?)…

…I am reminded of a home-made gift that I received for Valentine’s Day exactly 20 years ago—a short film featuring me in a fantasy love-story.

For a few years into my marriage, it was hiding itself in the midst of other movies that I enjoyed watching cuddled up on the couch with my husband.

No, this wasn’t footage of me and my husband…

…or my high school sweetheart…

…or even my boyfriend from college.

This Valentine’s Day gift captured moments of my secret adventures with a man I was in love with when I was 19…

…who was married.

It was the ultimate fantasy love-story—we were involved in a musical production together. And even though he was almost ten years older than me, he played my boyfriend in the show. After he confided in me about his failing marriage, the feelings that I was only supposed to be portraying on stage, followed me home one night. I began to wonder if I was falling in love with this man. And once he said those three words all insecure girls like me want to hear, I was definitely in over my head.

I was desperately longing to find love and be loved, so much so, I found myself trapped in a lie that God just wanted me to be happy, even if it meant becoming “the other woman.” And I was a Christian!

That longing to be loved still burns within me, but is now satisfied by the love of my Savior, Jesus Christ and my God-honoring husband.

Yet, I know that I am not the only woman out there experiencing that deep desire to be pursued, cherished, and intimately loved.

On the surface, it may look like most women in the world are just after a steamy sex life, but under the sheets, you will find a broken soul longing for true love—a love that can only come from God Almighty, Love Himself.

God knows how to satisfy these deep longings to be loved and treasured because He created us.

Without the understanding of how much my Heavenly Father loved me, and how He manifests that love through the sanctity of marriage, I tried to fulfill those longings through the entanglement of sexual pleasure, running away from my reality that I was empty. Even after my relationship ended with the married man, my own lustful desires dragged me further into the pit of sexual sin, bound heavily in chains. It wasn’t just casual sex (there is no such thing), my friends, it was a war within my soul that caused severe anxiety and depression, alcohol abuse, and suicidal thoughts.

When I became a Christian, I truly struggled with having a Biblical view of sex- knowing that it was designed to be enjoyed within the context of marriage.

Yet, sex has always been a risqué topic in the church, often making us uncomfortable, but this isn’t the time for us to remain quiet because it makes us uncomfortable! The devil surely isn’t uncomfortable or silent in his tactics to steal the purity of our daughters and wives!

We cannot afford to keep our mouths shut about this issue any longer. The total health of women: spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical, depends on it.

We need to start conversation about it. We need to offer support for our women who are secretly suffering and hiding behind these kinds of “romance” fillers to help satisfy their souls, and explain to them where sex and love fits in God’s divine plans for their lives.

Sexual sin and pornography are not just problems men face. This is a moral cry regarding the sexuality of women all over the world.

Our wives, sisters, daughters, nieces, and grand-daughters are searching for their worth. They need to know that they are cherished—not just by us but by God! We must lift up the cross, the greatest Gift from the Father, and the Blood of Jesus, letting them know of the Man who laid down His life for them, showing the greatest love ever known.

This Valentine’s Day, and every day, let us remember that Love.

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