Connected to the Vine

Anxiety (and depression) has been plaguing my life on and off since I was a child, and it is still something that I wrestle with to this day. I used to think that my struggle with anxiety and depression made me a very weak Christian that lacked faith in God. But that, my dear friends, is absolutely not true. 

Because sin exists in the world, so does sickness and brokenness and no one is exempt from any of it. Although we have been redeemed and our eternal salvation is secure in Christ, as believers, we still are subject to suffering in this fallen world that we live in. God may not cause pain, mental illness, disease, or traumatic experiences, but in His great sovereignty, He does allow it.  

For me, there came a point in time where I stopped rebuking the devil for all the anxiety and depression I was experiencing and shifted my focus on God Almighty, the only One who could help me through my pain and give me wisdom on what was going on with my body. Through it all, whether the anxiety was caused by overwhelming thoughts that I chose to fearfully dwell upon or a hormonal imbalance occurring in my body, God has always remained faithful and near to me in the midst of my suffering. My faith in Him has not waivered, even if my emotions and thoughts did. 

Although prayer may not conquer every moment of panic or worry, it is my lifeline to stay connected to the source of peace and life, to abide in the Vine (John 15) so I don’t dry up. I also remember to arm myself with the truth of God’s Word that helps me renew my mind day by day and strengthens my faith and gives me hope. We need to stay connected to Jesus, for just as verse 5 in John 15 tells us, apart from Christ, we can do nothing:

“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:4-5, ESV).

Intersecting Faith and Life:

We will all experience some type of suffering and face “winter” seasons in our lives. Difficult seasons in life can actually be a time of growth and maturity in the Lord. In the natural, trees’ roots actually grow down deeper into the earth in the wintertime. Your suffering can actually be what allows your roots in the Lord to grow deeper. Instead of yielding ourselves to complete defeat and despair when we are suffering, we need to allow our roots in Jesus to grow deeper and deeper. During these dark times, the enemy wants you to dry up and rot- physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, and will even tempt you to run to other things or people to take away your pain, but we must use those times of trial to draw closer to the Lord and drink deep of His goodness and faithfulness. Remember, we must remain connected to our life-source, Jesus, the Vine. He alone sustains us through every time of difficulty. No other thing or person will be able to bring you true life, peace, and wholeness, friend. 

Staying connected to other believers is also extremely important to our spiritual health as well, especially when we are in the midst of a trial or storm. Their root systems in God can get “nutrients” to us and their spiritual fruit can “feed” us when we are struggling to hang onto the Vine. If we isolate ourselves during these times and are not taking in the proper nutrients from God’s Word, we become very vulnerable to the enemy’s lies and fear tactics. Isolation is the breeding ground for hopelessness, doubt, and fear. Don’t allow shame or embarrassment keep you from reaching out for help when you are struggling to find hope. Call, text, or visit a friend and open up about what you are going through. What a beautiful picture of what the Body of Christ is supposed to do when a brother or sister is discouraged and walking through a valley!  

Remember, Jesus knows first-hand the depths of pain and suffering here on earth, but the good news is that because of His life given as a sacrifice for our sin, we will one day be with Him for eternity, and He will finally put an end to all suffering and sorrow. Abide in Him and hold onto the hope that He brings, dear friend, mountain high or valley low. 

 Further Reading:

Luke 13:6-9

 2 Peter 1:2-18

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Knit Together: Speaking the Truth in Love

In a recent research survey, 61% of people ages 18-25 reported miserable loneliness in our post-pandemic world and felt as if no one cared for them. No matter if you are single or married, experiencing isolation and loneliness can often lead to depression that can be crippling. People in the world are looking to belong. In Christ, as His followers, we have the answer.

The Church is a family, and we should seek out those who are isolated because they may be truly suffering. We enlarge our heart and become vulnerable with each other, by God’s grace, to enjoy meaningful and fruitful friendships that are soul-quality and one-souled, knit closely together with one another. Do you struggle with being vulnerable with others? What is causing you to hold back with being transparent and open with someone? Perhaps you have been hurt in previous relationships- rejection or betrayal may have wounded your soul and you are scared to become vulnerable with others again. We must trust that Christ will heal that hurt and will bring you into healthy Christian friendships for His glory. 

To be able to build intimate Christian friendship, we must also learn how to go beyond surface level conversations and move into heart-to-heart type of conversations. It’s easy in our society to be self-isolated and guarded in the name of privacy. Sadly, consumerism in our culture has infiltrated our relationships too. If friendships don’t enhance value in our life, we see them as disposable and easily replaceable, or even ditch friendships altogether. As members of the Body of Christ and brothers and sisters in the family of God, He has called us to be joined together as Ephesians 4 tells us: 

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (15-16, ESV).

Intersecting Faith and Life: 

To be able to speak the truth in love to one another, we must cultivate trust in our friendships. True Christian friendships are rare and costly because they require a lot of work, selfless commitment, and intentional engagement. Our self-centered heart or past hurt can get in the way and can lead us to isolate and choose selfishness over investing in meaningful Christian friendships. We must press past these temptations to build up walls around our heart or seek only things that satisfy self. The foundation of good friendships must begin with Christ (vertical then horizontal) to be able to sustain loyal, sacrificial, intentional, caring, and committed relationships. We must also remember that friendship with the things of this world is to make one an enemy of God (James 4:4) and will keep you from growing in love- love for Christ and love for others. What worldly pursuits have become a stumbling block to your friendship with Jesus that may be keeping you from getting to know Him in a deeper way? Remember, the nearness of God is our good (Psalm 73:28). The more we grow in our relationship with Christ, the more we will grow in our friendships as well. The Lord wants us to flourish in both areas. To flourish in Christ means we must become fluent in friendship. Jesus is the ultimate friend and wants to have a friendship with us so that we can participate with His mission, which is discipleship. The consistent pattern in our life should be to draw near to Him to then draw near to others and grow in Christ together- for our good and for His glory.

Further Reading:

  • Colossians 3:12-13
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:11
  • Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
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Empowered to Love Your Spouse

December 5, 2009. It may have only been a little over thirteen years ago that my husband and I said our “I do’s,” but that special day sure does feel like a lifetime ago. Time tends to do that to us, doesn’t it?

Perhaps, this feeling isn’t the fact that physical time has gone by and that we have grown another year older. Perhaps, it is because with time comes change – for better and for worse. I know my husband and I have each changed since December 5, 2009, especially after we both became parents! Oh my, did we experience changes in our marriage once that happened! Often, in marriage, the changes may happen slowly or small enough that we don’t notice it right away, but when it comes to the person we have vowed to spend the rest of our life with, it is difficult to ignore when you finally realize that time has shaped you each in unique ways and it is starting to cause a lot of friction between the two of you.

Problems and arguments arise and increase. We may get on each other’s nerves a lot. Instead of talking it out calmly and sharing our hearts with one another, we build walls around our heart to keep the other person out. We may want to spend time with someone who understands us better. Sometimes all of this friction and struggle may cause us to want to throw in the towel. When things get hard in relationships, calling it quits seems like the easy thing to do, right? After all, this isn’t the person you first married. So many people who are wrestling with this, feel stuck, and don’t know what to do or where to turn. The D-word may even have come up a time or two.

But I can say emphatically, divorce is not the answer! You can experience personal changes in your lives individually and still stand the test of time and grow stronger together! This might sound impossible. And honestly, in our own broken and weak human strength, it is. But take heart! There is hope for your marriage because Matthew 19:26 tells us that with God, all things are possible! Even if you were not a Christian when you got married but found Christ later on (or if you stumbled upon this website and are not a Christian at all), know that you cannot love your spouse and stay committed to them without God’s help. Without God’s love shed abroad in our hearts by the gift of the Holy Spirit, we are incapable of loving another person unconditionally. We are able to love our spouse because God first loved us.

“We love because He first loved us” ( 1 John 4:19, NIV).

There is no step-by-step guide to have a successful and thriving marriage, but there are things we can implement to help strengthen it. Thankfully, when we make a commitment to put God first within the marriage, He gives us grace and wisdom for the journey together. The Holy Spirit truly does empower us to show the love of God even to the most unlovable.

Intersecting Faith and Life:

One way we can be empowered to love our spouse is to study the Word of God regularly both individually and together. The Bible is full of truths about God, who is Love Himself (1 John 4:8). The more we dive into His Word, our selfish minds are renewed to think like He does and love like He does, extending the same grace and mercy we have received from Him to others. The Word transforms us from the inside out, all for the better, and we begin to see the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23) develop and mature in our life, which we need to fully love others.  In addition to studying scripture together, you can pray together and pray for each other. God is the only One who can change someone’s heart and life. Don’t just pray for God to change your spouse but pray and ask God to help you love your spouse in the midst of the difficulties and obstacles. Your circumstances may not change right away, but you will be surprised at how God changes you in the middle of those circumstances and you begin to see your spouse how God sees them – with eyes of mercy and grace. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize to your spouse. Because we have been forgiven through the Cross of Jesus Christ, we must forgive others. We have received such great mercy, therefore, we must extend that same mercy to our spouse, even if they have wronged us or offended us. 

Obviously, there are so many other ways we can ensure our marriage has a solid foundation that not even time can shake it or destroy it. Just like how our individual lives must be founded upon the Rock, Christ Jesus, most importantly, our marriages must have that same foundation. Jesus is our example of how to love one another, selflessly and unconditionally. May the Lord continue to empower us with His grace to do just that. 

Further Reading:

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10

Matthew 19:4–6

Ephesians 5:22–27

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Hungering and Thirsting for the Lord

Years ago, I was involved with a ministry where we would fast and pray for certain periods of time together. One particular time, we all spent a week fasting on just liquids leading up a big ministry event we were attending. By the time we got to the event, I was so hungry and tired that I knew I needed to sleep or eat if I was going to have any energy to make it through that weekend. We all chose to break the fast together after seven days with a large meal together that satisfied my deep hunger. Next up for me was a long nap before we made our way eight-hour drive back home. I don’t remember ever feeling that weak in my body and mind. If my body wasn’t longing for rest or a meal after not eating for a week or getting much sleep because of travel, we would think there was something seriously wrong going on with my health. It is healthy for your body to hunger and desire rest; This means your body is working properly. 

This type of desperation for physical sustenance is a reflection of what our spiritual hunger for the things of God should look like. When we can go days, weeks, or God-forbid, even months without reading the Bible or praying, and we don’t find ourselves desiring to seek the Lord and His righteousness, we need to pause and ask ourselves why. As a believer, this should concern us. 

Jesus gives us a promise in what is called “The Beatitudes” in the Sermon on the Mount regarding those who hunger for the things of God. When we pursue the Lord and His righteousness, we will never starve; God will fill us with His sustaining life:

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matthew 5:6, NIV). 

If we find ourselves no longer hungry for spiritual things, our spiritual health may be in great danger. We need to find out why we have stopped being hungry for pursing God’s Word and Kingdom pursuits. Have you stopped attending church or fellowshipping with other believers regularly? Is your prayer routine on life support? If you are malnourished spiritually, it will begin to affect other areas of your life. We must abide in the Vine if we are going to bear fruit for Christ. Apart from Him, we cannot do anything (John 15:5). We must become desperate to remain connected to Christ and His Word; His Word are Spirit and life. Jesus says that those who are hungry for Kingdom pursuits are blessed and promises to fill us and sustain us. This type of hunger cannot be conjured up in our own strength. We cannot make ourselves hungry; We need God’s help and supernatural grace. We need to ask the Lord to stir our hearts to make us hungry and thirsty again for Him so that we can mature in the Lord and be filled up with His abundant life that can over-flow to reach others for His glory. 

Father God,

I must admit that I have a reached a point in my spiritual journey with You where I may have grown complacent. I find myself not longing to pray or read my Bible. I have not been very consistent with fellowshipping with other believers. Help me get rid of distractions in my life that may have kept me from Kingdom pursuits. Social media and other entertainment can very quickly become spiritual junk food that does not truly nourish my soul. Will you help me prioritize these things in my life so that You are primary? Help me to see the things or people in my life that may be keeping me from growing in my relationship with You, Lord. Strip away my comfort, my pleasure, and my pride and make me hungry for You and Your righteousness. Fill me up with Your abundant life. I want to pursue You, praise You, read Your Word consistently, stay committed to my local church, learn of Your ways, and learn more about You and I know I need Your help to stay on the narrow path. Thank You for leading me in Your righteousness and maturing me. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Ex-Psychic Saved Podcast with Jenn Nizza | “Manifesting is Infiltrating the Church” (Ep. 5)

I was able to sit down and chat with my dear friend Jenn Nizza again, but this time for her podcast that just launched in January 2023! In this episode, we continued our conversation about how manifesting/Law of Attraction has become a common practice in evangelicalism. Check out more details about the episode below!


Ex-psychic Jenn Nizza, who regularly speaks on the spiritual dangers of the occult, is warning about the growing prevalence of “manifesting” within the church. 

“It’s infiltrating the church,” Jenn Nizza proclaims on this episode of the “Ex-Psychic Saved Podcast,” noting she embraced manifesting when she worked as a medium. “I fell into it and started believing it, and then I taught it as well.” 

Manifesting, which the New Age movement calls the law of attraction, is essentially the belief people can will or make certain things happen in their lives. As Crosswalk notes, “It is the belief that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into your life. It says that thoughts are energy; and energy can attract similar energies to itself because there is an attractive magnetic pattern to the universe.”

Nizza sat down with Emily Massey of WeWouldRatherHaveJesus.com, to discuss this issue and its presence within Christian circles and to warn that the “name it and claim it” mentality amounts to “idolatry.” 

Massey noted culture is dominated by crystals and other tools that mainstream this type of spiritual practice. As for her own experience in the Word of Faith movement, she said there was an intense focus on the power of words.

“For me, as far as the practice was concerned, everything came back to not only the positive thinking … but it goes beyond that to where it affects your speech,” she explained of her own past experience with manifesting. “You have to guard your speech … you must … speak out these positive, what they would call confessions.”

It all came down to not “sowing” negative words, believing these words would have a certain power after being spoken.

“It’s that whole — ‘Don’t, don’t, don’t speak it, don’t claim it … we have to be careful with our words because they can be manifest into reality,’” Massey said.

She took aim at these ideologies, noting the idea people could “manifest” something into reality “is not biblical faith.”

“Biblical faith is solely trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ,” Massey said. “We believe in the Gospel, we believe in the finished work of the cross, and we believe the words of Christ and the word of God, and that is what we put our faith in Christ.”

But she said others in these movements “distort the definition of faith to mean ‘a force.’”

Listen to the conversation HERE

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Tidal Waves of Grief

Several years ago, I watched my husband, his parents, and my sister-in-law experience the deepest pain imaginable – pain so difficult that it physically hurt. The night my husband, Paul, received the news that his brother was in a tragic drowning accident, I held him as we both cried, huddled on the couch. He kept grabbing his chest and saying, “I miss him so much. This hurts so bad.” Each day after that moment, we continued to put one foot in front of the other as we walked through the pain with Jesus, trusting that He would continue to heal our broken hearts and believing we will see our precious brother (was also a believer) again in heaven someday.

Not only did I sense the nearness of God after we lost our dear brother, but the scriptures flooded my heart with hope. This passage from 1 Thessalonians reminded me to keep my mind fixed on eternity: 

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep” (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, ESV).

What a beautiful reminder to all of us who might be experiencing pain and grief right now! We may feel pain and sorrow, but that does not mean that we have no hope! Our life is only a vapor (James 4:14), and this place is not our home. We have a promise that one day every tear will be wiped away and pain will be no more (Revelation 21:4).

The Bible is full of truth about eternity and wisdom on how we should live our lives while we are still here on earth. Jesus doesn’t promise that we will escape pain here on earth, but He does promise that He will be with us always (Matthew 28:20).

In your pain and sorrow, cry out to the Lord and walk with the Holy Spirit. Allow Him to bring you true comfort and peace, all while guiding you into truth about the Kingdom to come. Soon and very soon we will be with Him forever where His perfect love will be all we ever experience. Until then, keep drawing near to Him and He will faithfully draw near to you, just as His Word promises us.

Heavenly Father, 

As the waves of grief come crashing in on me, please remind my heart of the hope that I have in Christ. Holy Spirit, help me to fix my gaze upon heaven where the promise of eternal life awaits me. Give me a voice to share my story of Your goodness and faithfulness during this difficult time of grief and pain. Thank You for bringing a peace that passes all understanding and healing broken hearts in Your timing. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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Shining Your Light in a Dark World

Despite the hardship of this life, we are called to rejoice and find our joy in Christ. Our grumbling is complaining against God and saying He isn’t good. The world believes the lie that the problems we face are around us and the solution is within, but the truth is that our problem is the sin within, and the answer is found in Christ and His Holy Word. The world is always twisting away from the truth because they fail to believe in Christ and His truth that is found in His Word. We need to be cautious of what we allow to influence our mind. Is there something you enjoy that is not inherently sinful in and of itself but can begin to sway your thinking and behavior if given too much attention over time in God’s Word or serving in the local church? Social media, TV, music, movies, sports? We should unplug from the world and plug into God’s Word if we truly want to see real transformation in our life to be a light to a dark and hopeless world.

The Apostle Paul tells the Philippians:

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain” (Philippians 2:14-16, ESV).

If we struggle with complaining or arguing with others consistently, the Word can change our heart. If we sin in this way, we must repent, reset our mind with the Word, and rejoice in the Lord. Our lives are to be a brilliant beacon in the darkness as we stand as God’s children against the wickedness of the world. We must be diligent to cling to the Word of life daily so that it can empower us to thrust it into a culture of death to bring hope and eternal life to those who are perishing.

Intersecting Faith and Life:

We do not have to form a relationship with someone to share the gospel with them, but we often see people outside our home consistently who may not have a saving relationship with the Lord, Jesus Christ (ex: your local barista or hairstylist). Is there someone who comes to mind? Commit to praying for that person and asking the Lord for an opportunity to share gospel truth with them. Our motivation to persevere in the midst of a dark world is our hope for the day of Christ and eternity with Him where we will obtain crowns. While we are still on this earth, we have the privilege of working towards great heavenly rewards as servants to the Lord. What talents has the Lord given you to use for His glory? Are you using them to their fullest capacity? Take some time to thank Him for those gifts as well as pray for more opportunities to use them to shine brightly for Christ.

Further Reading:

Matthew 5:14-16

Romans 5:1-5

1 Peter 1:8-9

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Hungering After the Lord

Recently, in the national news and on social media you may have heard about “revivals” breaking out on college campuses all around the United States. Although some are hesitant to put that official label on what has been going on, it can be said that countless young people and thousands of other Christians who traveled far and wide to these campuses have been seeking the Lord and lifting high His Holy name in worship and prayer in one voice non-stop for days on end. Many people have been talking about experiencing the manifested presence of God, which has been described as a peace and joy that is indescribable. One student’s testimony at one of these revivals was being shared on social media said: “This isn’t hype. This is ordinary people crying out who are hungry for a move of God!”

Yet, it is important to remember that the fruit of a move of God isn’t always about experiences with tangible peace or joy in a worship service or how many people have gathered. Being hungry for God goes beyond attending revival meetings. Ultimately, true evidence of hunger in a Christian’s life can be seen when a believer has an insatiable appetite for seeking Christ and His righteousness.  

In the sermon on the Mount, Christ tells us:

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied”

(Matthew 5:6, ESV)

Truly, there is much excitement centered around large gatherings in the name of Jesus Christ that catches the attention of the world. But I think it is important to realize that one does not have to travel miles and miles to a specific event or conference, nor gather with thousands of other believers to experience this kind of hunger for the Lord. God can revive your heart to pursue Him and His ways wherever you are in the world. All you have to do is ask for Him to stir your heart for that kind of hunger and thirst. The more you begin to say no to the world and your flesh and yes to Christ and His righteous ways, the more the Holy Spirit will draw you into a life of devotion to the Lord. Most often, God begins to do His work in our heart and life when we keep our mind upon His Word. His Word is what renews our mind and transforms our life to reflect His ways above our own. We cannot stir up hunger in our own strength, we need God’s help. We must petition God and ask Him to strengthen our desires for living more Christlike. He promises to bless us and satisfy us. 

Heavenly Father,
I long for my life to reflect You so that others see how excellent and perfect Your ways are compared to the ways of this world that is fallen, corrupt, and void of Your perfect love and truth. I often fail and give into fleshly temptation, and I thank You that I have been justified and made righteous in Your sight because of Your Son, Christ Jesus! You still desire for me to mature and grow in my walk, despite my shortcomings. You are a God who transforms and purifies, so I ask that You’d help me renew my mind with Your Word so that I can know the good, acceptable, and perfect will of Yours and see my life conformed to the image of Your Son. I am asking You to give me a hunger and a thirst for righteous living. I know that I cannot conjure this up in my own heart; I need Your help. I know that I do not need to be surrounded by thousands of people or have a tangible encounter in Your presence to be stirred to seek You more. You meet me wherever I am. You are faithful to do this work of sanctification in my life, so thank You for strengthening me in my spiritual disciplines. May I have a testimony of a great transformation to give You all the glory! In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Driven to Pursue Christ

What excites you and drives your passion? Being made in the image of God means that we all have passion. The important question we must ask ourselves is: is my passion directed inward or does it fuel me to pursue Christ and His purposes? Our drive and passion for the Lord and His Kingdom is related to our devotion to Him and reveals our purpose of knowing Christ and serving Christ. Most of all, reading and studying the scriptures should fuel our passion because it sets our eyes upon the Lord and helps us take our eyes off of ourselves.

What motivates your drive towards Christ? For the Apostle Paul, it was the prize of the upward call of God:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14, ESV).

We can remind our heart that if we are born again, Christ purchased our life for a purpose and has made us His own. He did this so that we would bear fruit for His glory. Christ reached down and rescued me so I should always be reaching for Christ. We press on to make knowing Christ relationally and serving Him faithfully, and we must press on even more when we feel weak. We can look to Christ and ask for strength to keep going and He will be faithful to give us His abundant grace. We shouldn’t be entangled by our past sin, sorrows, or even successes as those things will distract us and hold us back from pressing on in our race to pursue Christ and His purpose. 

May the Lord give us zeal and an increased pace and an increased engagement in Kingdom pursuits as we press towards the prize. Ultimately, Christlikeness is our prize. Let us seek the Lord and ask Him to increase our passion to become more like Him!

Dear Lord, 

I am reaching to the upward call, longing to become more Christ-like in my pursuits and in the fruit of my life. Help me to see what may be hindering me from being conformed to the image of You. I do not want to resist the call of taking up my cross and following You. My flesh is weak, but I know that I can find strength and grace in You to keep pressing forward, straining for the prize. Will you please ignite a zeal in my soul for You and Your Kingdom? In my striving and running I trust that You choose my pace as I move forward, linking arms with other believers. You empower me with Your Spirit, and I know You are faithful to complete the work You have started in me. In Your name I pray, amen. 

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God is Near to the Wounded

For many people, the holidays are full of wonderful traditions and precious memories together with family and friends. For others, it’s a time of deep pain and loneliness as they are reminded of strained or non-existent relationships or the loss of loved ones and their absence from the holiday gatherings. 

For many years, the latter was my experience, especially when I became a believer in my early 20s. I lost my dad around Thanksgiving when I was 22, and a few years later, my mom and stepdad went through a very painful divorce, which strained my relationship with my mother based on her life choices shortly following the separation from my stepdad. In the early years of my own marriage, there was so much tension and passive aggressive exchanges during the holidays as it was expected that I must make it top priority to spend time with my side of the family instead of my now husband’s family. 

When I had my first child, I wanted to create our own family traditions and try to include my own family as much as I could, but there was still so much tension regarding my strained family relationships. I found myself trying to be a peace maker, but it was never enough. I was crushed under the weight of trying to please everyone all while trying not to create a wedge in my marriage as well. To be quite honest, I was crushed and wounded regarding my relationships with my family in general because of my strong convictions as a believer in Christ in the midst of an unbelieving (and often hostile) family. The holidays seemed to just intensify those wounds when I would be left extremely disappointed and discouraged.

When we need God’s peace and comfort, we can always run to the Word. Scripture often brings clarity and perspective when our emotions are overwhelming. The psalmist reveals a beautiful truth about God’s love and care for the broken and wounded:

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, ESV).

Instead of allowing our pain and emotions to toss us to and fro, we can find our security and assurance in who God is and how much He loves by finding our foundation in His Word. The wounds of distant, strained, or lost relationships can often run deep, but there is healing found in Christ, who never leaves us nor forsake us. When we are crushed under the weight of our circumstances, we can trust that when we draw near to God, He draws near to us (James 4:8), and His ever-present help will come to our aid to walk us through the pain. You may have been disappointed, grieving, and hurt yet again this holiday season, but don’t find your home in the pain and discouragement. Let us run into His safety and find great comfort in Him!

Heavenly Father,

You know my heart and see my pain before I ever speak a word, but You long for me to make my requests known to You by being honest and intentional in seeking You first no matter what. Help me to remember that You are near to the brokenhearted and that I can run into your safety when I feel crushed by my circumstances and difficult relationships. I know You alone can satisfy my soul more than any other relationship in life. Thank You for setting the lonely in families and for calling me Your child. Surround me with Your grace and help me see Your loving hand working in my life. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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