The Comparison Trap

Has interaction on social media ever created a heaviness in your heart, perhaps leading you to compare yourself to others? In my life, I seem to get this cloud that forms over me when I scroll certain social media influencers’ profiles. You know, the ones from somewhere in the Midwest with a thriving business, beautiful children, Magnolia inspired farmhouse decor covering the pristine photos of their adorable home…and the lighting! Perfect lighting in these pictures…every single one of them! Absolutely stunning natural light in these posts! And I want to imitate it, but not because I am inspired, but because quite frankly, I am jealous of these strangers on the internet! The cloud that looms over my head is this heaviness that I need to make my life look like this. I start to think I need what they have and a feeling of “not enough” starts to creep up in my heart. 

Recently, the Lord has been showing me through this restlessness how discontented I have become through social media and that is something I am working through with the Holy Spirit on how I can guard my heart from these types of entanglements that bring distraction and discontentment. My eyes have drifted upon lesser things, and it has affected my heart in a great way. Comparison that leads to envy and jealousy has been a trap of the enemy since creation. The motive behind Adam and Eve’s disobedience was comparison, which led to covetousness, which led to pride, which led to selfishness, which led to ungratefulness for what God had already provided (all rooted in fear).

Are you in fear? Then you are not in faith, believing God at His Word and fully trusting Him that He has given you exactly what you need. Anything that is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23). When we compare ourselves with another, we are saying we would do a better job planning out our lives than our Creator, the sovereign Most High, acting like Satan who fell and caused Adam and Eve to fall. Whoa, that is a dangerous place to be!

When we are wrestling with these heart issues and sin, we often need a perspective shift, and this won’t come from social media, but the Word of God is what will bring clarity when our minds and hearts become clouded with worldliness that causes us to become jealous of others. 

The Apostle Paul reminds his spiritual son Timothy in his first letter to him to keep his mind on eternal and spiritual matters:

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.”

(1 Timothy 6:6-8, ESV)

Our Heavenly Father ensures that birds are fed, surely, He will take care of us! If we have food and clothing, we truly don’t need anything else; All else is comfort and gifts from our Father. Any material blessing beyond food and clothing that the Lord graces us with should cause us to worship and rejoice in thankfulness for His rich mercy and love towards us as His children. 

We are all guilty of comparing our lives to someone else’s life at one point or another and allowing it to cause some form of jealousy. The only way out is to repent and renew your mind with the Word of God. Instead of fixating on others’ lives, we must keep our eyes on Jesus and His Word. If you cling to Him and abide in Him, you will remain full of His love, joy, and peace- the only things that will bring true fulfillment and contentment. You won’t want anything else than what He has given you; His perfect, eternal promises and tender, Fatherly care for you will be more than enough. Let’s lift our gaze and thank Him for what He has already so richly provided for us in Christ Jesus. 

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for providing everything that I need (not want). You have provided food and clothing and in this, I need to be content. Contentment with godliness is great gain in Your eyes. I need Your help to find rest in contentment; I need Your help to remain grateful when my eyes wander onto others’ lives causing me to become jealous. I trust that Your plan for my life is best, which includes all earthly possessions that I am given. I fix my eyes upon You and Your Word, today. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit that convicts my heart when I become jealous or envious of others. Help me to prioritize my time and create boundaries, especially regarding my social media usage. I want to glorify You in my thoughts and actions. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Tagged : / / / / / / / /

Guarding Against Grumbling

When it comes to sin in our life, sometimes we attempt to overlook or give excuses for our behavior if we feel like our actions are justified because of our circumstances. For example, when I am sleep deprived, my flesh thinks it perfectly acceptable for me to deal out a hefty dose of sarcasm to my seven-year-old who has asked me the same question twelve times before my morning coffee or to murmur under my breath that I can’t believe my husband left his glass of milk from the night before on the floor again and, of course, the toddler just dumped it all over the living room right on cue.

But those actions do not glorify God, and they are rooted in sin. If I am a child of God, His Spirit will bring conviction to my heart with His word because it is my heart that needs attention and change. When I’m tempted to complain, which we are all naturally prone to every single day, this passage from Philippians 2 comes to mind to bring truth to my heart:

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…” (Philippians 2:14-15, ESV).

As God’s children, we are not to grumble. We must remember that, ultimately, grumbling is complaining against the sovereign God of the universe and saying He isn’t good, which is sinful. When we complain, we should repent, reset our mind by thinking on things above, and rejoice and give thanks to God for His graciousness towards us. There are new mercies available to us every single morning. Perhaps it would be a beneficial habit to create a daily list of things that you are grateful for to help cultivate a heart of contentment and gratitude. Despite hardships and inconveniences in our life and relationships, we are called to rejoice and find our joy in Christ. It all comes down to the attitude and posture of our heart. 

How about your attitude when you disagree with someone, or they have offended you? When you are in a disagreement with someone, do you want to be right more than you want to pursue unity with that person? Do you allow a bad attitude to drag you into unnecessary arguments or even gossip to complain to someone else instead of going directly to the person who you are annoyed or upset with? Disagreements are inevitable, but most of all, God cares about our attitude during disagreements and doesn’t want us to be swept up in foolish arguments constantly. We can disagree with others without being disagreeable or prideful.

If we are entangled in senseless disputing and complaining, the world has trouble seeing the light of Christ in our life. We see in verse 15 of Philippians 2 that the Lord wants Christ followers to shine bright in a culture full of darkness. Our lives are to be a brilliant beacon of light in the darkness as we stand as God’s children against the wickedness of the world. 

“…that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…” (Philippians 2:15, ESV).

One way we can protect ourselves against complaining and empower our hearts to shine bright for Christ is to be diligent to cling daily to the Word of life so that we can thrust it into a dark world. The Word of God helps us to renew our mind so we can cultivate the fruit of the Spirit and stand out in the world, pointing others to the hope that we know in Jesus. In addition to our daily time in the Word, we must abide in the Vine by communing with Him daily. We can call upon the name of the Lord to cry out for help when we are tempted to complain and grumble. He is our ever-present help in time of need and is faithful to strengthen us.

Father God,

Although it is easy to find excuses for the reasons of my behavior, I know Your Word is very clear about the posture of our heart and attitude, especially when it comes to circumstances that are difficult, stressful, or even painful. You care about the condition of our heart and the attitude that we exude because as Christ followers we are to look and behave differently. People are watching all the time how we react when we are offended or struggling under the weight of the cares of life. I ask that You would first and foremost, give me a hunger for more of Your Word. I know that is where my mind is renewed; The Word helps me cultivate the fruit of the Spirit and walk in obedience. Help me to guard my heart and avoid grumbling and complaining and arguing with others. I ask for a spirit of gentleness and peace with others so that I can pursue unity and be grateful for all the good gifts from You. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

Tagged : / / / / / / / / / / /

Envy That Rots the Bones

"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones” Proverbs 14:30, KJV.

A few weeks ago, I was in prayer and was having a difficult time letting some thoughts go regarding the direction of my life. Can you relate? Sometimes, the enemy seems to flood your life with distractions in order to cloud your mind, bring confusion, and cause you to question God. Eventually, if left unchecked, we can begin to grow bitter toward others (and God).

For me, because of the way I was raised and also the environment I spent a majority of my life in (theater/acting/performance), I am used to looking at other people’s lives and measuring my life with theirs, whether to make myself feel better or give myself a goal to work toward.

Sadly, this is how most people make decisions in life. They say, “Well, that’s how so-and-so did it so that seems like a good plan.” Or “So-and-so is just so successful in life and seems to have everything they want. I will just follow what they did so I can have that kind of happiness and have those nice clothes, car, job, house, spouse, etc.” Ultimately, if you follow this way of living, you grow resentful toward others and envy starts to grow in your heart. Envy will then cause you to look for reasons why you deserve what someone else has.

Comparison and envy give birth to ungratefulness and bitterness not just toward other people, but most importantly, toward God. The moment you take that step into comparing your life with someone else’s is the moment you will find yourself in a deep, empty pit surrounded by pride.

The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom on how we are to live our life and avoid such pitfalls. Let’s take a look at one of these pitfalls, envy:

"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones” (Proverbs 14:30, KJV). 

You can forget about living in peace or feeling complete or whole if you enter into the land of envy or covetousness. Comparison that leads to envy has been a trap of the enemy since creation. The motive behind Adam and Eve’s disobedience was comparison, which lead to covetousness, which lead to pride, which lead to selfishness, which lead to ungratefulness for what God had already provided (all rooted in fear).

Are you in fear?

Then you are not in faith, believing God. Anything that is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23).

When we compare ourselves with another, we are saying we would do a better job planning out our lives than our Creator, the sovereign Most High, acting like Satan who fell and caused Adam and Eve to fall.

Whoa, that is a dangerous place to be!

We are all guilty of comparing our lives to someone else’s life at one point or another. The only way out is to repent and renew your mind with the Word of God.

The word “sound” in Hebrew is marpe, which means healing, remedy, calmness, wholesome, and yielding. We can only have a sound mind when our eyes are on Jesus and we are habitually in His Word. Cling to Him, abide in Him, and you will remain full of His love, joy, and peace- the only things that will bring true fulfillment. You won’t want anything else than what He has for you; His promises for you will be more than enough. You will begin to trust God with all of your heart and lean on His understanding, not your own. When we do that, He will direct our paths and He will never lead us astray.

Take some time and right down ten things you are thankful for. Gratefulness will fill your heart with joy and leave no room for comparison.

Tagged : / / / / / / / / / / /

Protecting Your Heart Against Complaining

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” -1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, NASB.

A friend of mine shared a graphic on social media the other day that stopped me in my tracks and convicted my weary heart. It was a brief but powerful list of reasons to be thankful when we are tempted to complain. It said:

Early wakeups = Children to be loved

House to clean = safe place to live

Laundry = clothes to wear

Dishes to wash = food to eat

Endless questions = kids’ brains growing

If I am honest, I have not rejoiced in these blessings at all. I have complained, and often. So much so, I caught my six-year-old repeating phrases I had been saying as I grumbled with bitterness throughout my day.

Right after I saw that post on social media, the Holy Spirit brought the scripture to my mind that our pastor had just preached on Sunday earlier in the week; it was from 1 Thessalonians 5.

The Apostle Paul exhorts the believers at Thessalonica with these commands:

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing;in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, NASB).

I knew that the Bible talks consistently about the sin of complaining, but I did not realize how important it is for a believer to make joyful thanksgiving every moment of every day. In fact, it is God’s will for us to do this because we are in Christ and in Christ, we have much to be grateful for!

Knowing that our flesh would so much rather complain, grumble, stress out, and look at everything that is wrong, there is no doubt as to why the Apostle Paul tells us to pray without ceasing. We must lift up our hearts to the Lord for help if we are to walk in thanksgiving when the pressures of this life crowd in around us and try to weigh us down. We need His grace to rejoice. We need His strength to face each day, especially when our current season of life is stressful and physically and mentally exhausting.

Lately, I have been physically and emotionally drained. Stress has been so high for me that I was beginning to grow resentful. I truly needed a shift in my perspective because it was affecting my heart in major ways.

In addition to being thankful for my growing children, the safety and comfort of my home, clothes on my back, and food in my belly, as a believer, most of all, I needed God’s help to remind my soul of the eternal blessings that I have in Christ.

In Christ, I have access to the Father to come to Him in prayer because I am His child. In Christ, I have hope for eternal life. In Christ, I have peace knowing that my sins have been forgiven and I am justified before a Holy God. When I am tempted to complain about the stress and inconveniences of life, I must look to Jesus and ask Him to remind my heart of all of these blessings that are lavished upon me that I truly do not deserve, both earthly and eternal. It is God’s will for us to rejoice and be thankful, so may God’s will be done in my heart.

Father,

I am weary and worn out from the cares of this life. My heart is heavy and stressed and my body is feeling the effects of it all that seems to be weighing me down. My heart has become bitter and ungrateful; I have taken many blessings in my life for granted. Father, I repent of my complaining and grumbling. I know that I do not deserve anything that You have lavished upon me. You do not owe me a thing, yet you are such a great Father and provide for my needs and grant me Your unmerited favor and mercy each new day.

In addition to my physical needs being met, you have given me eternal life in Jesus Christ and peace knowing my sins have been forgiven because of what Jesus did for me on the cross when He laid down His life for me.

I come to You to help me rejoice and ask You to fill my heart with thanksgiving. Please remind my heart to begin each day with a grateful heart and know that I can pray anytime I am struggling with bitterness or I am tempted to grow resentful for all that You have freely given to me. Help me guard my heart against anything that may cause it to grow hard and bitter.

Thank You, Jesus, for Your sacrifice and for the life that I find in You alone.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Tagged : / / / / / / /