The Comparison Trap

Has interaction on social media ever created a heaviness in your heart, perhaps leading you to compare yourself to others? In my life, I seem to get this cloud that forms over me when I scroll certain social media influencers’ profiles. You know, the ones from somewhere in the Midwest with a thriving business, beautiful children, Magnolia inspired farmhouse decor covering the pristine photos of their adorable home…and the lighting! Perfect lighting in these pictures…every single one of them! Absolutely stunning natural light in these posts! And I want to imitate it, but not because I am inspired, but because quite frankly, I am jealous of these strangers on the internet! The cloud that looms over my head is this heaviness that I need to make my life look like this. I start to think I need what they have and a feeling of “not enough” starts to creep up in my heart. 

Recently, the Lord has been showing me through this restlessness how discontented I have become through social media and that is something I am working through with the Holy Spirit on how I can guard my heart from these types of entanglements that bring distraction and discontentment. My eyes have drifted upon lesser things, and it has affected my heart in a great way. Comparison that leads to envy and jealousy has been a trap of the enemy since creation. The motive behind Adam and Eve’s disobedience was comparison, which led to covetousness, which led to pride, which led to selfishness, which led to ungratefulness for what God had already provided (all rooted in fear).

Are you in fear? Then you are not in faith, believing God at His Word and fully trusting Him that He has given you exactly what you need. Anything that is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23). When we compare ourselves with another, we are saying we would do a better job planning out our lives than our Creator, the sovereign Most High, acting like Satan who fell and caused Adam and Eve to fall. Whoa, that is a dangerous place to be!

When we are wrestling with these heart issues and sin, we often need a perspective shift, and this won’t come from social media, but the Word of God is what will bring clarity when our minds and hearts become clouded with worldliness that causes us to become jealous of others. 

The Apostle Paul reminds his spiritual son Timothy in his first letter to him to keep his mind on eternal and spiritual matters:

“Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.”

(1 Timothy 6:6-8, ESV)

Our Heavenly Father ensures that birds are fed, surely, He will take care of us! If we have food and clothing, we truly don’t need anything else; All else is comfort and gifts from our Father. Any material blessing beyond food and clothing that the Lord graces us with should cause us to worship and rejoice in thankfulness for His rich mercy and love towards us as His children. 

We are all guilty of comparing our lives to someone else’s life at one point or another and allowing it to cause some form of jealousy. The only way out is to repent and renew your mind with the Word of God. Instead of fixating on others’ lives, we must keep our eyes on Jesus and His Word. If you cling to Him and abide in Him, you will remain full of His love, joy, and peace- the only things that will bring true fulfillment and contentment. You won’t want anything else than what He has given you; His perfect, eternal promises and tender, Fatherly care for you will be more than enough. Let’s lift our gaze and thank Him for what He has already so richly provided for us in Christ Jesus. 

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for providing everything that I need (not want). You have provided food and clothing and in this, I need to be content. Contentment with godliness is great gain in Your eyes. I need Your help to find rest in contentment; I need Your help to remain grateful when my eyes wander onto others’ lives causing me to become jealous. I trust that Your plan for my life is best, which includes all earthly possessions that I am given. I fix my eyes upon You and Your Word, today. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit that convicts my heart when I become jealous or envious of others. Help me to prioritize my time and create boundaries, especially regarding my social media usage. I want to glorify You in my thoughts and actions. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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A Mouth Full of Mercy

As believers our speech should be as one who has been forgiven. We have received the gift of mercy from on high, which has triumphed over our dooming judgment. When we do not show mercy to others, and condemn them for their sin, we will not receive mercy.

We often give mercy to the measure that we understand we’ve received mercy. If we come up short at showing mercy, the way to increase our merciful responses towards others is to meditate on the mercy we have received from the Lord. We were once enemies of God and by grace through faith, we have been justified, forgiven, and redeemed. This should cause us to walk in humility and kindness with even the most difficult people in our life. 

One way that we can walk in mercy with one another is to guard our mouths from speaking evil against one another, especially if someone has wronged us or hurt us. We should never resort to gossip or share with someone else about another person. 

How do you know if what you are saying is judgmental?

Ask yourself: Would I say it to the person’s face? Would this hurt their feelings at all if they overheard me?

Titus 3:2-7 instructs us:

“…to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life”

(Titus 3:2-7, NKJV).

If guarding your mouth is difficult for you when you are upset, and you tend to get offended easily, we must remember that we can ask God for grace to be able to not allow our flesh to rule us. The Holy Spirit will convict of us of our sin, but also strengthen us to be able to walk in obedience by showing humility and mercy to all. One of the fruit of the Spirit that we has been given is self-control, and if you are born again, you have been endowed with that ability by the power of the Spirit. We are either yielding to the Spirit or we are yielded to the flesh. We will be given as many opportunities as possible and tests on our faith journey to cultivate the fruit of the Spirit. As disciples of Christ, we should see genuine growth with each passing day that we choose to walk in the Spirit and deny the flesh. Let us reflect upon the mercy that we have received and ask the Lord to help us speak words filled with mercy. 

Heavenly Father,

I do not deserve Your mercy, but You have been so extravagant with Your love for me. Help me to reflect upon the gift of Your forgiveness daily, so that I can extend the same love to others. When I am tempted to lose my temper or gossip, set a guard over my mouth, Lord. Help me cultivate and develop the fruit of self-control by the power of Your Spirit so that I can continue to walk peaceably, with all gentleness and humility as Your Word commands. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Envy That Rots the Bones

"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones” Proverbs 14:30, KJV.

A few weeks ago, I was in prayer and was having a difficult time letting some thoughts go regarding the direction of my life. Can you relate? Sometimes, the enemy seems to flood your life with distractions in order to cloud your mind, bring confusion, and cause you to question God. Eventually, if left unchecked, we can begin to grow bitter toward others (and God).

For me, because of the way I was raised and also the environment I spent a majority of my life in (theater/acting/performance), I am used to looking at other people’s lives and measuring my life with theirs, whether to make myself feel better or give myself a goal to work toward.

Sadly, this is how most people make decisions in life. They say, “Well, that’s how so-and-so did it so that seems like a good plan.” Or “So-and-so is just so successful in life and seems to have everything they want. I will just follow what they did so I can have that kind of happiness and have those nice clothes, car, job, house, spouse, etc.” Ultimately, if you follow this way of living, you grow resentful toward others and envy starts to grow in your heart. Envy will then cause you to look for reasons why you deserve what someone else has.

Comparison and envy give birth to ungratefulness and bitterness not just toward other people, but most importantly, toward God. The moment you take that step into comparing your life with someone else’s is the moment you will find yourself in a deep, empty pit surrounded by pride.

The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom on how we are to live our life and avoid such pitfalls. Let’s take a look at one of these pitfalls, envy:

"A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones” (Proverbs 14:30, KJV). 

You can forget about living in peace or feeling complete or whole if you enter into the land of envy or covetousness. Comparison that leads to envy has been a trap of the enemy since creation. The motive behind Adam and Eve’s disobedience was comparison, which lead to covetousness, which lead to pride, which lead to selfishness, which lead to ungratefulness for what God had already provided (all rooted in fear).

Are you in fear?

Then you are not in faith, believing God. Anything that is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23).

When we compare ourselves with another, we are saying we would do a better job planning out our lives than our Creator, the sovereign Most High, acting like Satan who fell and caused Adam and Eve to fall.

Whoa, that is a dangerous place to be!

We are all guilty of comparing our lives to someone else’s life at one point or another. The only way out is to repent and renew your mind with the Word of God.

The word “sound” in Hebrew is marpe, which means healing, remedy, calmness, wholesome, and yielding. We can only have a sound mind when our eyes are on Jesus and we are habitually in His Word. Cling to Him, abide in Him, and you will remain full of His love, joy, and peace- the only things that will bring true fulfillment. You won’t want anything else than what He has for you; His promises for you will be more than enough. You will begin to trust God with all of your heart and lean on His understanding, not your own. When we do that, He will direct our paths and He will never lead us astray.

Take some time and right down ten things you are thankful for. Gratefulness will fill your heart with joy and leave no room for comparison.

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The Pitfalls of Comparison

A few weeks ago, I was in prayer and was having a difficult time letting some thoughts go regarding the direction of my life. The enemy seems to flood your life with so many distractions that will cloud your mind, bring confusion, and cause you to question God or grow bitter towards others (and God) and mess with your love walk. 

For me, because of the way I was raised and also the environment I spent a majority of my life in (theater/acting/performance), I was so used to looking at other people’s lives and measuring my life with theirs, whether to make myself feel better or give myself a goal to work towards.

If you do not read the Word of God, this is how most people make decisions in life. They say, “Well, that’s how so-and-so did it so that seems like a good plan.” Or “So-and-so is just so successful in life and seems to have everything they want. I will just follow what they did so I can have that kind of happiness and have those nice clothes, car, job, house, spouse, etc.” Ultimately, if you follow this way of living, you grow resentful towards others and envy starts to grow in your heart.

Envy will cause you to look for reasons why you deserve what someone has.

But the problem with that mentality is this: comparison and envy give birth to ungratefulness and bitterness not just towards other people, but most importantly, towards God.

The moment you take that step into comparing your life with someone else’s is the moment you will find yourself in a deep, empty pit surrounded by pride, selfishness, bitterness, and envy. 

The book of Proverbs is full of wisdom on how we are to live our life and avoid such pitfalls, as these things. Let’s take a look at one of these pitfalls, envy.

“A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.”

Proverbs 14: 30 (KJV)

The word “sound” in Hebrew is marpe, which means healing, remedy, calmness, wholesome, and yielding.

You can forget about living in peace or feeling complete or whole if you enter into the land of envy or covetousness.

Comparison that leads to envy has been a trap of the enemy since creation. The motive behind Adam and Eve’s disobedience was comparison, which lead to covetousness, which lead to pride, which lead to selfishness, which lead to ungratefulness for what God had already provided (all rooted in fear).

Are you in fear?

Then you are not in faith, believing God at His Word and fully trusting Him.

Anything that is not of faith is sin (Romans 14:23).

When we compare ourselves with another, we are saying we would do a better job planning out our lives than our Creator, the sovereign Most High, acting like Satan who fell and caused Adam and Eve to fall.

Whoa, that is a dangerous place to be!

We are all guilty of comparing our lives to someone else’s life at one point or another. The only way out is to repent and renew your mind with the Word of God. Keep your eyes on Jesus and His Word. Cling to Him, abide in Him, and you will remain full of His love, joy, and peace- the only things that will bring true fulfillment. You won’t want anything else than what He has for you; His promises for you will be more than enough.

You will begin to trust God with all of your heart and lean on His understanding, not your own. When we do that, He will direct our paths and He will never lead us astray.

Take some time and right down ten things you are thankful for. Gratefulness will fill your heart with joy and leave no room for comparison.

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