God is Near to the Wounded

For many people, the holidays are full of wonderful traditions and precious memories together with family and friends. For others, it’s a time of deep pain and loneliness as they are reminded of strained or non-existent relationships or the loss of loved ones and their absence from the holiday gatherings. 

For many years, the latter was my experience, especially when I became a believer in my early 20s. I lost my dad around Thanksgiving when I was 22, and a few years later, my mom and stepdad went through a very painful divorce, which strained my relationship with my mother based on her life choices shortly following the separation from my stepdad. In the early years of my own marriage, there was so much tension and passive aggressive exchanges during the holidays as it was expected that I must make it top priority to spend time with my side of the family instead of my now husband’s family. 

When I had my first child, I wanted to create our own family traditions and try to include my own family as much as I could, but there was still so much tension regarding my strained family relationships. I found myself trying to be a peace maker, but it was never enough. I was crushed under the weight of trying to please everyone all while trying not to create a wedge in my marriage as well. To be quite honest, I was crushed and wounded regarding my relationships with my family in general because of my strong convictions as a believer in Christ in the midst of an unbelieving (and often hostile) family. The holidays seemed to just intensify those wounds when I would be left extremely disappointed and discouraged.

When we need God’s peace and comfort, we can always run to the Word. Scripture often brings clarity and perspective when our emotions are overwhelming. The psalmist reveals a beautiful truth about God’s love and care for the broken and wounded:

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
    and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, ESV).

Instead of allowing our pain and emotions to toss us to and fro, we can find our security and assurance in who God is and how much He loves by finding our foundation in His Word. The wounds of distant, strained, or lost relationships can often run deep, but there is healing found in Christ, who never leaves us nor forsake us. When we are crushed under the weight of our circumstances, we can trust that when we draw near to God, He draws near to us (James 4:8), and His ever-present help will come to our aid to walk us through the pain. You may have been disappointed, grieving, and hurt yet again this holiday season, but don’t find your home in the pain and discouragement. Let us run into His safety and find great comfort in Him!

Heavenly Father,

You know my heart and see my pain before I ever speak a word, but You long for me to make my requests known to You by being honest and intentional in seeking You first no matter what. Help me to remember that You are near to the brokenhearted and that I can run into your safety when I feel crushed by my circumstances and difficult relationships. I know You alone can satisfy my soul more than any other relationship in life. Thank You for setting the lonely in families and for calling me Your child. Surround me with Your grace and help me see Your loving hand working in my life. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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A Lifestyle of Repentance and Faith

A few months ago, my eyes were opened to the stark reality that I was struggling with an area of my past…

… the pain of rejection.

This continues to be a battle for me, yet I realize that healing from the pain of rejection is a partnership and most definitely, a process. Thankfully, I am not alone in this fight.

One thing for sure is that the Lord fights for me and the Holy Spirit guides me into all truth, illuminating and highlighting lies that I was believing that are rooted in rejection.

Rejection had overwhelmed so much of me that I wasn’t being fully honest with people in my life. The lie I believed was that I would be rejected if my sin or wrong-doing was discovered. Therefore, I chose to either keep silent or tell a lie to keep my secret hidden so that I wouldn’t be a disappointment.

That lifestyle was keeping me from being fully transparent and honest with my husband and most importantly, with God. I believe this is why 1 John 1 reminds us of the importance of confessing our sin:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, NKJV).

Hiding our sin causes us to hide from God, similar to Adam and Eve when the first sin entered the world. They felt ashamed, and shame made them feel rejected. Because of Jesus and the finished work of the cross, we are forever made righteous in our position as we stand before the Father and are forever forgiven, yet when we sin, it causes our fellowship with God to be hindered, and then we can very easily stray from Him. God’s love toward me never changes when I sin, yet I may still experience consequences and correction for my disobedience. Repentance, as a believer, is for our benefit to keep fellowship with our Father open and unhindered. Sin can often cause our hearts to grow callous, and we may not be as sensitive toward the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

The enemy wants you either in pride thinking you are better off doing life your own way or in isolation, bound in a pit of depression, unable to receive love or give out love, feeling like no one loves you or cares about you, especially God. But God’s love is unconditional and perfect, and nothing can stop His pursuit toward you. He wants us to be honest with Him so that we can see real transformation happen in our life, as He conforms us into the image of His Son.

Like I said above, positionally, in Christ, you stand before God forgiven and righteous, but experientially, sanctification is a process because our flesh is weak. Although as born-again believers, we continue to sin against God because we are constantly at war with our flesh in this life, the good news is that we have a great advocate, Jesus Christ, who is forever our righteousness. To be sure, our position in Him as declared righteous before God will never change, yet, we are still called to confess our sin, which purifies our conscious before the Lord. 1 John 1:9 says Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Let us come out of hiding and rejoice in the truth that Jesus is forever our righteousness despite our shortcomings and run to repent every time!

Father God,

Thank You for sending Your Son to stand in my place take upon Himself Your wrath that I deserved. I stand forgiven and justified before Your throne because of Christ’s work on the cross. Although I stand forgiven of my sin, that does not mean that I do not stumble into sin. My flesh wants to lead me away from Your ways and sometimes I give into that temptation and disobey. Instead of running away from You in shame, I choose repentance. Holy Spirit help me be quick to repent and run to the throne of grace. Father, thank You for Your mercies that are fresh and new every single morning. May I never take Your mercy for granted and may I always make a habit of walking in honesty before You and repent of my disobedience. You are such a faithful Father, waiting for me with arms wide open. Thank You for being a God of abundant second chances. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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When Jesus Brings a Sword

A few months ago, a polarizing topic came on the scene here in America, which created a lot of strife and tension on social media (what else is new?). Since it was a topic that I am very passionate about, I decided to share my own personal thoughts regarding the monumental news. As a Christian, my worldview is filtered through a Biblical lens. This should be the case for all professing Christians, but sadly, that is not always true in our current society. Many are creating a Christianity (and Jesus) to their own liking that allows them to continue to embrace worldly ideologies and philosophies that make them feel better about themselves. But in the gospels, Christ assures us that if we try to hang onto our life, we will lose it. If we want to hold onto the world, we will inevitably lose our soul. 

My strong Biblical convictions were met with much animosity among some of my friends (some unbelievers and some professing Christians). Two close friends from my past in particular, immediately “unfriended” me on Facebook because they became extremely offended by my position on this controversial topic, although I have expressed my views on it before. This is expected as a Christian. We know that we will lose much as a Christ-follower. It’s something we typically prepare ourselves for early on in our walk. But I have been a Christian for fourteen years. 

For whatever reason, these two friends could not tolerate my convictions and wanted me out of sight and out of mind. The situation with one friend hurt worse considering it was friendship with deep history of more than twenty-five years; We had made countless memories together since grade-school and she was the maid of honor in my wedding. I reached out to her and she responded with her disgust with my Christian beliefs (compared to her own) and offenses but was radio silent to my plea to reconcile despite our opposing views, especially our differing views within Christianity and about the Bible. Her silence was loud and clear that she no longer wanted to walk in fellowship with me and was willing to throw twenty-five years of friendship away on a whim. If someone isn’t willing to be Facebook friends with you, do we think they really want you in their life at all? The answer was made pretty evident for me. 

Yet, I wasn’t expecting to have to face this type of division in my friendships this many years later as a believer; I was faced with the hard reality that Jesus’ words in Matthew 10 were unfolding in my life. Although Jesus is speaking of family particularly in verses 34-35, the sentiment remains the same- Jesus has come to bring a sword to our relationships that draws a line in the sand between those who love and follow Him and those who do not. 

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law”

(Matthew 10:34-35, ESV).

Later in this passage, Christ makes it clear that we must love Him more than anyone or anything, even our own life. We must lay it all down to follow Him at all costs, but He promises life abundantly to those who sacrifice all to pursue Him and His ways. 

It’s in times like these when I am broken and disappointed and hurt where I find myself throwing my hands up and say, “Just give me Jesus.” He is the One who brings us hope as an anchor to our souls, keeping us tethered to Him and His truth when our heart feels like it’s falling apart at the seams because of the pain of rejection.

He comes to our rescue and embraces us in our pain, even if the circumstances don’t change, even if the suffering doesn’t seem to end, and even when the relationship cannot be or refuses to be reconciled. He comes to our rescue and is there with us, directing our eyes heaven-ward, reminding us this place is not our home and that His ways are so much better. He may bring a sword to divide relationships in this life, but a relationship with Him is so much sweeter and more rewarding than anything we could ever experience here on earth. As we turn our back on the world, it will undoubtedly turn its back on us. Let us lift our eyes where our Help comes from and seek Jesus in the midst of our loss, knowing there will be great gain found in Him.

Father God, 

I know I am accepted in the Beloved. I know You are near to the broken-hearted. I know following Christ is a call to die. I know I will be hated for His namesake. And I know He has come to bring a sword and asks us to love Him more than anyone or anything else. But the pain of rejection still hurts so much. Can you bring healing to my heart and endow me with Your grace to endure the difficult times that come from following You? Thank You for Your overwhelming love and for coming to my rescue when I cry out to You. I know that even though I experience loneliness, I am never truly alone for You are always with me. No matter how much it cost, I choose to pursue You and Your ways above all. This world has nothing for me. I will follow You. In Jesus’ name, amen. 

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Encouragement When You are Battling Rejection

I woke up one morning recently crying after having a very vivid, heart-piercing dream. It was almost as if my current heart-struggle was being played out right before me; I could honestly see this dream happening in reality.

The words that were spoken (in the dream) to me and my husband cut to the core, and they hurt so badly that my first reaction was tears so strong that they stained my cheeks when I awoke.

Being a story-teller allows for intense dream-tales in my mind while I’m supposed to be resting, sleeping. It’s something I have always dealt with since I was a child- I wake up trying to shake the mental visions, telling myself over and over again that it’s not real. Eventually, the emotions fade, and I can go on with the rest of my day.

In this recent instance, I had trouble getting passed the pain and just began talking to God about it. It was very obvious and simple- I was still dealing with rejection and it still hurt, but I was reminded that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).

Although Proverbs 18:24 doesn’t necessarily say that friend is Jesus, I know that He will always be there for me even when everyone else fails me. Scripture tells us that God never leaves us or forsakes us in Deuteronomy 31:6. This truth from the Old Testament about our never-changing God is also stated again as a reminder in Hebrews 13, along with this powerful truth that people will fail us, and people may reject us, but we should not fear, for God is on our side. He is our helper.

“…for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,” so that we confidently say,

“The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid.
What will man do to me?’” (Hebrews 13:5b-6, NASB). 

When we face rejection from others, we must remember that Jesus understands more than anyone what rejection feels like, as He is very familiar with it Himself. Many people rejected Jesus (and continue to do so) while He was here on earth, even one of His very own disciples (Judas) rejected Him and betrayed Him. And just a couple hours later, another one of His closest disciples (Peter) rejected knowing Him. Three times to be exact. Aren’t you so thankful for Jesus’ forgiveness when we turn our backs on Him! He gives us so many opportunities to repent and make things right in our relationship with Him! His mercies towards us are new every single morning…oh, what love! The Lord understands our pain regarding rejection and His arms are open wide, so let us be quick to draw near to Him. Lo, He is always with you…even to the end of the age!

Abba Father,

I’m hurting. I don’t want to hold onto this pain of rejection. I want to heal from the wounds of those who have hurt me. I choose to forgive. I want You to bless those who hurt me, even if they don’t want me in their life anymore. Your Son was rejected, even by You, for a moment when He took the punishment of sin, out of love for me. Thank You, Jesus, for being the friend I need who sticks by me no matter what. I love You, Lord. Thank You for always loving me and never leaving me. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Come Out of Hiding

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, NKJV).

A few months ago, my eyes were opened to the stark reality that I was struggling with an area of my past…

… the pain of rejection.

This continues to be a battle for me, yet I realize that healing from the pain of rejection is a partnership and most definitely, a process. Thankfully, I am not alone in this fight.

One thing for sure is that the Lord fights for me and the Holy Spirit guides me into all truth, illuminating and highlighting lies that I was believing that are rooted in rejection.

Rejection had overwhelmed so much of me that I wasn’t being fully honest with people in my life. The lie I believed was that I would be rejected if my sin or wrong-doing was discovered. Therefore, I chose to either keep silent or tell a lie to keep my secret hidden so that I wouldn’t be a disappointment.

That lifestyle was keeping me from being fully transparent and honest with my husband and most importantly, with God. I believe this is why 1 John 1 reminds us of the importance of confessing our sin:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9, NKJV).

Hiding our sin causes us to hide from God, similar to Adam and Eve when the first sin entered the world. They felt ashamed, and shame made them feel rejected. Because of Jesus and the finished work of the cross, we are forever made righteous in our position as we stand before the Father and are forever forgiven, yet when we sin, it causes our fellowship with God to be hindered, and then we can very easily stray from Him. God’s love toward me never changes when I sin, yet I may still experience consequences and correction for my disobedience. Repentance, as a believer, is for our benefit to keep fellowship with our Father open and unhindered. Sin can often cause our hearts to grow callous, and we may not be as sensitive toward the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

The enemy wants you either in pride thinking you are better off doing life your own way or in isolation, bound in a pit of depression, unable to receive love or give out love, feeling like no one loves you or cares about you, especially God. But God’s love is unconditional and perfect, and nothing can stop His pursuit toward you. He wants us to be honest with Him so that we can see real transformation happen in our life, as He conforms us into the image of His Son.

Like I said above, positionally, in Christ, you stand before God forgiven and righteous, but experientially, sanctification is a process because our flesh is weak. Although as born-again believers, we continue to sin against God because we are constantly at war with our flesh in this life, the good news is that we have a great advocate, Jesus Christ, who is forever our righteousness. To be sure, our position in Him as declared righteous before God will never change, yet, we are still called to confess our sin, which purifies our conscious before the Lord.  Is there a particular sin that you have been struggling with? Pause and take some time to write it/them down and repent before the Lord, laying it all down at His feet. 1 John 1:9 says Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Let us come out of hiding and rejoice in the truth that Jesus is forever our righteousness despite our shortcomings!

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The Father’s Embrace

For the majority of my life, I struggled to feel truly loved by my dad, who was an on-again, off-again recovering alcoholic. Because of that missing piece, I longed to find love and constantly sought out approval and attention from boys, giving myself away piece by piece- first becoming entangled by pornography, then slowly moving toward sexual encounters beginning at the tender age of twelve and going on until I was about 22 years old- a whole decade of my life.

I knew John 3:16 by heart, but I didn’t fully understand it. I couldn’t shake the religious upbringing that taught me only about a vengeful, angry God who would smite me down if I were not perfect. I still felt like I had to work for forgiveness and love. That performance-driven mentality affected all areas of my life. No matter how hard I tried to be perfect, I never felt good enough.

I reached a point where I stopped trying and just lived. In college, I made plans to run away to Los Angeles. I would be an actress and prove to the world my worth, talent, beauty and charm. But, one Sunday morning, only a couple months after I graduated, my eyes were truly opened to my selfish and sinful existence.

I hadn’t been to church in years, but one morning I went with my mom and sister. During the worship service, I began to experience this deep conviction that I was living a reckless and selfish life; I had been running away from God. Immediately, I knew I needed to repent start running toward Him, back into the Father’s arms. In that moment, I realized where I truly belonged. Right there, with hands lifted in worship, and tears streaming down my face, I repented of my pride and rebellion; I told God that I didn’t want to live this life on my own anymore, and that I wanted to surrender to His plan. 

But only a few short months after this change began in my heart, I received some traumatic news- someone murdered my father outside of a strip club. His lifestyle landed him in the wrong crowd, and it tragically cost him his life. Although I lost my earthy father, I discovered a Father’s love that is stronger than anything I’ve ever known.

Since that time in my life, God has completely healed me, transformed me, and shown me His overwhelming love as my Father, who will never leave me. The most powerful revelation I received once I started seeking God as found in the first chapter of the book of John.

“But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be[h] children of God, to those who believe in His name,13 who were born, not of blood,[i] or of the will of the flesh, or of the will of man,[j]but of God” (John 1:12-13, HCSB).

What a powerful reminder for us! Jesus died so that we could have unending fellowship with the Father. When you fully embrace Jesus, the Father embraces you. Jesus gave us the privilege of being called God’s child, and He made a way for us to have access to the Father. No what matter what you have done, you can never outrun His love. You are never too far gone for His reach. He will rescue you and use you for His purpose in the earth. Receive Jesus and the work of the cross and learn to stand in the most important position you will ever hold in this life- a child of God!

Father, help me learn to be satisfied with Your love above all else. You are the only One can satisfy my longing to find love and acceptance. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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What a Friend We Have in Jesus

One morning as I was walking our dog, Samson, tears suddenly started flowing, and I just began to talk to God. It did not take very long for me to realize that what I was wrestling with was the all-too-familiar feeling of rejection. 

I did all I knew to do.

I attempted to break the silence that so easily crept into the friendship, and there’s still silence on the other end.

I can’t make anyone want to have me in their life, and not everyone needs to be in mine, I get that. But I’m still fighting off the feelings that the spirit of rejection so gladly ushers into my heart.

It’s in these moments that I cling to those who embrace me, who accept me, and remind myself that I am loved.

First and foremost: Jesus loves me.

My husband loves me.

My children love me.

My family loves me.

And there are friends that surround me that fight for our relationship.

In moments like this, it is so important to run to the Word of God to replace lies with God’s truth. 

Proverbs 18:24 gives us instruction about friendship:

“A man who has friends [a]must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 18:24, NKJV

Although Proverbs 18:24 doesn’t necessarily say that friend is Jesus, I know that ultimately, He will always be there for me even when everyone else fails me.

Because people will fail us. People will reject us. Even our Christian brothers and sisters- this of which I struggle with understanding the most.

Many people rejected Jesus (and continue to do so), but while He was here on earth, even one of His very own disciples (Judas) rejected Him. And just a couple hours later, another one of His closest disciples (Peter) rejected knowing Him. THREE TIMES.

When we face rejection, we must remember that Jesus had to/has to endure rejection every single day as people turn their back on Him. No matter what, Jesus understands more than anyone what we experience when rejection comes our way. Thank God for Jesus’ forgiveness when we turn our backs on Him; He gives us so many opportunities to repent and make things right in our relationship with Him! Jesus understands and His arms are open wide, ready for us to cry out to Him about our pain of rejection.

If you are dealing with rejection, I want to encourage you that you don’t have to embrace the lies that you are unwanted or unloved. There is a Man who wants to be the closest friend you have ever had in your entire life. Everything could be stripped away from you or everyone in your life may walk away from you, but the Lord’s love for you will always be there.

In Christ, you are made worthy before God and are accepted into His beloved family. The cross is a symbol of God’s great love for you. Jesus died and paid the price for our sin so that we would forever experience a relationship with our Heavenly Father. Without a relationship with Jesus, you’re a sinner in God’s Holy eyes, but embracing Jesus, ushers in the greatest relationship you will ever know from now on into eternity. He wants to walk with you. He won’t reject you and will stick close forever and always. Oh, what a friend we have in Jesus! 

In you are wrestling with the pain of rejection, pray this prayer:

Abba Father,

I’m hurting. I don’t want to hold onto this pain.

I want to heal. I choose to forgive.

I want You to bless those who hurt me, even if they don’t want me in their life anymore.

Your Son was rejected, even by You, for a moment, out of love for me. Thank You, Jesus, for being the friend I need who sticks by me no matter what.

I love You. Thank You for always loving me.

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